God Speaks and the Jelly Donut Jesus with Gabriel Gordon / Transcript

Note: Can I Say This at Church is produced for audio listening. If able, I strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which has inflection, emotion, sarcasm where applicable, and emphasis for points that may not come across well in written word. This transcript is generated using a combination of my ears and software, and may contain errors. Please check the episode for clarity before quoting in print.

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Gabriel Gordon 0:00

But that process of God revealing God's self, and then us responding to it doesn't stop with the production of Scripture, right? It continues. So God then picks up those words, as a vehicle for himself. And the Holy Spirit squeezes Jesus the jelly into the donut, right? And squeeze it squeezes him into the words of Scripture

Seth Price 0:20

about your shirt right there.

Gabriel Gordon 0:22

That's jelly doughnuts.

Seth Price 0:24

No jelly, doughnut, Jesus,

Gabriel Gordon 0:26

jelly, jelly cheese. So he squeezes Jesus into into the words of Scripture. And then those serve as a vehicle to bring him to us once again. And then we respond to that right, with a human interpretation. And then that response, he picks up again, and starts the whole process over. So it's just this continual process of God incarnate. And God says self in in through what we humans respond and interpret.

Seth Price 1:14

What is happening there you find folks, I hope that your day as well. My day has been good so far. I think you're really gonna like today's episode, so brought Gabriel Gordon up on the show, Gabriel wrote a book last year, it was fantastic. Now full disclosure, I read it, I also endorsed it, which I still find a little bit crazy when people ask me to do that. And it's humbling, either way, like a year later, finally got him on the show. Now here's a bit of what you can expect. So if there is a little bit not a crazy amount of salty language in this episode, so if you've got little kids with, you may want to skip this one, at least for now. Again, it's not crazy bad, but it is there. We'll call it pG 13. Right. Outside of that, I think you are in for some goodness. I know I really enjoyed doing this episode, as well as editing it. And I also really want that jelly doughnut. And you'll get that as you listen through. I promise that'll make more sense. Anyway, let's roll it with Gabriel Gordon.

Gabriel Gordon 2:32

And I'm an open book so you can ask me about anything

Seth Price 2:36

I can ask you about why Texas is better than Oklahoma. Gotcha. Oh, damn.

Gabriel Gordon 2:41

So so I was on. I'm actually originally from I was born in the Northwest. exile. But I think here's here's what I say. Texas is better than Oklahoma. But it's still Texas. And they're in they're really the same state. Just Texas has more pride about it. Right? They culturally they're like they both wear cowboy.

Seth Price 3:12

We have a bigger football. We have a bigger handle. So it's true, man. Are you from Texas? Yes. Yeah, I'm from Midland, Texas.

Gabriel Gordon 3:22

So but you live in the East Coast now.

Seth Price 3:23

I live in Virginia. Yeah, okay. Yeah,

Gabriel Gordon 3:26

my friend is from the Amarillo Borger area

Seth Price 3:29

Oh yeah, a good one. One of my good friends is also from Amarillo lives in Charlottesville here close by we talk every day. Yeah. All right. Let me hit record on the video for the patrons because you know, we're doing a thing all right. Recording in progress in your hair. I'll fix my

Gabriel Gordon 3:45

Yeah, I would have put oil on my beard if I Yeah, well, it's gonna be on Hold on.

Seth Price 3:49

Let me there's one. I actually one in the

Gabriel Gordon 3:52

way this is for the patrons but I'm actually going bald by a male pattern baldness.

Seth Price 3:57

I do not want to hear that. I'm going bald, saying.

Gabriel Gordon 4:02

I I'm convinced that we need to stop all these like fundraisers for cancer research and we need to start doing research for male pattern baldness. Like how many people are suffering around the world from their male pattern baldness? I

Seth Price 4:15

don't know that I agree. But for two reasons. So my wife is a nurse for pediatric cancer patients. But second, second, no one dies from hair loss. This is so but I do miss my hair and my wife would tell you I false advertised, you know slightly better shave. full head of hair. You know, anyway,

Gabriel Gordon 4:36

no, we we were talking about sarcasm earlier. I'm pretty sarcastic. So the things I say are dark jokes are not meant

Seth Price 4:44

to be no, there's no equivocating. Now there's no equivocating. You're done.

Gabriel Gordon 4:49

My wife is actually a nurse to what does she do? telemetry cardiac stuff.

Seth Price 4:54

I don't know what I know it. Cardiac. telemetry to me is like a NASA term like we put people on the moon. So Though anyway Alright, let's let's do the thing. Gabriel Gordon you're not master anything right? Like not

Gabriel Gordon 5:08

no no not tell me not told me you know

Seth Price 5:11

I could hold it. No I'm not gonna hold it alright Gabriel Gordon you want Gabriel you want Gabe? What do you want? What do whatever you want

Gabriel Gordon 5:20

you know it just made the cancer joke it's your

Seth Price 5:23

name it's your name Welcome to the show man I think we've been emailing intermittently like every nine weeks for it feels like a year and it might actually be a year I'm going to check now but I'm glad that you're here and I am very very sorry that I am not good at the Internet and and that it took as long as it took to get you on to the show but I'm glad you're here man.

Gabriel Gordon 5:50

If I was mad it'd be the pot calling the kettle black you know, so I can't be mad. Are you equally as bad at the Internet? I'm I'm pretty bad at the Internet. Yeah, yeah,

Seth Price 6:00

I am. I mean just for for Case in point I shared so I make merchandise for the show. That is not a plug this just literally as a funny story that happened yesterday. And I put a new design up and I asked for some people's opinion yesterday like in a messenger thread. And I was like, tell me what comes to mind when you see this. And then I thought that I posted the image. 45 minutes later, I get a text. When I see what and I'm like man, I knew but i thought that i did it i would have I would have bet money that I put that in there. And I didn't and I apologize. I told them I'm also not good at the internet so. So when you tell people who and what you are, what is that? I like to start off by saying that my Myers Briggs is shared by the Joker and Captain jack Sparrow. I don't even know what is that Myers Briggs? It's the NTP NTP that's what they did. Yes, the debater personality that is also me. I did not know that that really? Yes, but I didn't know that. So the Joker and who? Captain jack Sparrow and Tom Hanks. was Tom amazing. Yeah. And I think newt gingrich too, so runs the game. So so that's where you like to start. And so which one of those Do you lean more towards the drunk pirate or narcissistic want to watch the world burn? Where are you at in there?

Gabriel Gordon 7:20

I think I fluctuate Really? Oh. You know, sometimes, I was talking to a friend about COVID recently and he was talking about like, we live in so we live in Grand Junction, which is very heavily Trump country. And it's in Colorado, but it's it's not like the rest of Colorado. And so we he was like Doomsday and like, Dude, what if you know with Biden's mandate, just people start pulling out their guns and it just goes batshit crazy. Are we allowed to cuss on the podcast?

Seth Price 7:52

You just did? We did. Okay, yeah, that's fine.

Gabriel Gordon 7:56

So gonna go batshit crazy. And he's like, we I need to I need to get a plan together and and I think I said something about you know, just give them over to their their folly. Just let the world burn. You know, so, yeah, so it depends. You know, some days I'm more hopeful and more like drunk and caps, Captain jack Sparrow, and other days I'm a little bit more like, let the world burn if they want to fuck it up. You know? Yeah, I can't do anything about it.

Seth Price 8:20

Yeah, yeah. So what do you do then outside of that, but while while you're while you're voyeuristically watching the world, burn, what, what else? What else keeps you busy?

Gabriel Gordon 8:31

So I like to pretend I'm a writer. The book we're talking about today is my second book. And I'm working on my third and fourth and big blog. Yeah, the first one did not get self it got self published. So I like to, you know, there's this episode of The Simpsons where Lisa gets put into a fancy prep boarding school and her teacher, you know, says, Hey, this, this work you're working on is so great, let's let's publish it and least ask the question, self published or real published, and the teacher says, real published. And so my first book was not real published. But yeah, it's called a late night meanderings with God, a collection of essays. And it needs an editor, even after it's been added and needs another, I might go back and revise it at one point to actually get it published. But so yeah, and then I'm working on a couple new books. My friend Adam, that I mentioned earlier, we're doing a he goes to seminary with me. So we're writing a theological commentary and devotion on the, on the Psalms, using the Septuagint, rather than most people use for the Old Testament. And then I'm doing a book called The fundamentals are recovering fundamentalist. And how far are you into that? Like 75 pages?

Seth Price 9:47

How many pages Do you plan to write like 90?

Gabriel Gordon 9:50

I don't know. Maybe, maybe, maybe maybe like double that. I don't know. We'll see. It's kind of, I have no idea where I'm going with it. I have a general direction. Like idea, but not quite sure. And yeah, and the Psalms commentary is like, I've got like two songs written the commentaries on.

Seth Price 10:08

So that's most of the songs though. Like that's your your most of the way there I just Yeah,

Gabriel Gordon 10:13

yeah and actually with the Septuagint there's actually a 100 and 51st song, so we had to do an extra that's besides the size right? I have actually been in a couple of short films, I've done some acting with some friends that were videographers so I got paid for one of them. So technically I'm an actor. Yeah, as a child that used to be a model even going bald. Yeah, no, I don't have an ID. But I used to live in Thailand as a child. And like I was three, four and five and my dad's side of the family is Jewish. And so I guess ethnically, I looked not white enough that they the ties that I was half Asian, and because of white supremacy, why it's kind of the norm. So they're actors and models tend to be mixed with white, and they're half Thai, so they're lighter skinned. And so I got into the modeling whole industry when I was in Thailand, for like, I don't know a year or two and I was like little so I'll wear this tight Speedo because that's what they do in Bangkok. They don't wear swim trunks they were Speedo so 34 year old gay wearing a speedo arms up in the air with his half Thai half white parents on the beach. So But yeah, I was on a horror film called the woods off slover Street and there was a scene where I'm like, in my underwear, I'm covered in blood. And so when I had my long hair, and I'm demon, I'm playing a demon possessed detective and I was like, eating this dude. But that cut that see now I'm really mad. It got cut out. But yeah, so besides that, I'm the college missionary. It's called missioner, but short for missionary for our church, which I just started like a month ago. So I'm supposed to start a whole college ministry. I run a ecumenical blog and podcast and conference annually, called the missiology club where we have people from all sorts of spots of Christianity, fundamentalist evangelicals, main liners, Catholics, Eastern Orthodox. We disagree on a lot of stuff, but we come together to talk about Jesus and affirm some of the historic Christian creeds. And what else do I do I like to hike sometimes. So I have a dog I named after the 20th century Swiss theologian, Carl Bart, really so yeah, and then I'm a master's student and theological studies specializing in biblical studies at Portland seminary. I'm actually in the direct line of the the Inklings. You know, the group that CSOs and token were part of Yep. The part of the Inklings was john Walsh. He used to hang out with Inklings. He was part of their club, and he actually taught at Oxford, and he taught a student named Dan Bruner, who is my one of my professors at seminary. So I'm actually in the direct successive line of the Inklings. And then I'm married to my beautiful wife, Hannah Gordon, she's from Colorado, we met at a cologne Baptist University and grew up Assembly of God and Southern Baptists and then ended up in the Episcopal world and my theology tends to lean Eastern Orthodox. I couldn't be further from Protestantism in general. And even though I thought anything that wasn't Protestant, we're a bunch of heretics back then, and now I tend to lean the other way

Seth Price 13:19

but everybody's somebodies heretic everybody. So I have a different question. One that I wasn't planning and I don't I think we were recording when we talked about your friend and Coronavirus and you know Trump country yeah so what I my response to people when they have those conversations and it comes up I live out here right outside of Charlottesville Virginia work in Charlottesville Virginia we go all in where you know we have entire white supremacist rallies that you know use an entire nation into a different conversation about supremacy you know we were the oh geez you know when it comes to the Old Dominion here when I ask people you know what do you mean by a well regulated when they talk about what you can get these guns on the common they'll get these guns How would that come up you think if you're like yeah Should I you know that these people are gonna go crazy after this vaccine mandate and you can't come to work etc etc. What do you think that your your neighbors would say are well regulated when it comes to the armed militia? They're

Gabriel Gordon 14:21

like, what would they say in response to that's

Seth Price 14:24

how they have all the guns, right? The second amendment right? And yeah, it says, you know, a well regulated militia. I'm just curious, what what you think well regulated means which is not anywhere close to what what I was supposed to talk to you about, but just, it's gonna be my one side.

Gabriel Gordon 14:38

I will say, when it comes when we get outside the realm of theology, I don't know anything about theology, but when it says we get outside of theology, when I when I have conversations with this friend I was talking about he

Seth Price 14:53

you're aware that there's a second amendment right? Yes. Okay. Yes, I

Gabriel Gordon 14:56

am. Yes. But he's a political science. Major and he'll start talking about politics. I'm like, No, no, right? I mean, we need to go back to theology because you know more about me in this particular thing, and I don't like that. So understood. well regulated. I don't know. I don't even think I understand the question. Honestly,

Seth Price 15:18

there's a fair answer. It's a fair answer. It's a fair answer.

Gabriel Gordon 15:22

About how are you talking specifically about how I

Seth Price 15:25

say it, I say it tongue in cheek to say, you know, well regulated does not mean I buy whatever I want and use it for whatever purpose I want. But that's that's freedom. Yeah. Well, yeah, sure, sure. Anyway, we're gonna get off topic. Speaking of the inkling, so I'm currently reading a book called a secret history of Christianity. That is on some of the work of Owen Barfield, who I believe was also part of that Inklings group. It is fantastic. Very, very, very, very good. It was recommended by friend. All right. So the book that you wrote, however, yeah, God speaks which To be clear, I read it earlier, last year, enough time that I had to read it again, before you came back on today. Luckily, I read extremely quickly, and I'd already read it once. So it made it easy. And so I want to lay some groundwork as we kind of dive into it. Because a lot of people Yeah, I like how to do that. So that only you and like seven people can see it. But if I have to talk with my hands, if I put them in my pockets, I think I'll just mumble. So what is essential? kenosis? Why does it need to be a thing? And how is that different from the way that most people? You know, view scripture and God and their relationship to it?

Gabriel Gordon 16:38

Yeah, so essentially gnosis the other kind of terms for it that are more the layman's term, would be the Uncontrolled Love of God, or God can't theology. I don't necessarily like the term God can't. I know Tom uses that to be provocative and kind of draw people in. But I don't necessarily like that term. And maybe we can get into that. But so the idea of the Uncontrolled Love of God or central gnosis is that are a couple things. So starting off with the idea that God is love, right. And most people don't have a problem with that in the Christian tradition. We, they might define it in particular ways that people start to argue over, but generally people will affirm that God is love. So God is love. And God can only act according to God's nature, right? This is pretty mainstream. In Christianity, even in fundamentalist circles, I would say this is more of the mainstream view, maybe with some of the more extreme Neo Calvinist, you'll get kind of will, God doesn't have to act like God, but but generally even I went to Southern Baptist School, which is fundamentalist and my philosophy professor said, God can't do anything that's illogical, right? God can't make two plus two equal five, or can't make a straight line, not straight, or a square circle, or something like that. And so starting with the idea that God is love, and that God cannot act outside of God's nature, if God's nature is love, and God can't act outside of that, and we say that we add the caveat that to love is to be uncontrollable, to be uncor. So if to only act in persuasive ways, then then that entails that God can't control and that God necessarily gives freedom to human creatures. And since, as Paul says, and Romans, God's gifts are irrevocable, God can't take away what God gives, then that what we end up having, and the example I like to use is Hitler, that God could not take Hitler's freedom away, and control him in order to prevent the Holocaust, for instance. So that's kind of a basic, very basic definition to kind of what essential kenosis is, yeah. What does that say? What's the,

Seth Price 18:54

what's the inverse of that for the way that most people view? I guess, non essential kenosis? I don't know what the inverse is called, of us. And yeah.

Gabriel Gordon 19:03

So I mean, there are a couple. I mean, there's a myriad of ways we can kind of understand the power of God and so forth. But I think the other the two that are popular in Protestantism, are basically the Calvinist perspective than they are mineus perspective, okay. And the Calvinist perspective says that God, generally and Calvinism is much more nuanced than this. But generally, kind of the Neo Calvinist perspective would say that God controls everything. So when evil happens, the world as well as good, I mean, that's God doing it, right? Everything. Uh, john Piper likes to talk about everything down to the very atoms, the very smallest particles of reality are controlled by God and doing exactly what God wants them to do. Whereas the Armenian perspective would say, Well, God can control right but chooses not to Or at least modern Armenians, maybe Jacob arminius wouldn't have said it quite like that. But that's outside my realm of knowledge. But essentially modern Armenians would say that God could control and, but chooses not to the problem with that. And Tom uses this as an example, this example in one of his books, is that if a mother is at the bank of a frozen river during the winter time, and her daughter walks out into the ice, and her mother allows her to walk out on the ice because she freely chose to do so. And then she falls to the ice. And her mother chooses not to save her, even though she had the ability to save her because, oh, my daughter made this choice. I'm going to respect that. Well, that's not going to hold up in court, right? The mother is going to go to jail for a very long time. And and that would be the idea of the Armenian problem with the Armenian perspective is, is that if God just choose your can control but chooses not to, yeah, well, then God's morally culpable for the evils that happened in the world. Obviously, I think the the Calvinist problems are self evident. I mean, if God controls everything, then God is evil, Gods do evil. If people want to try to make an argument for why that's not bad, I'm not sure we're gonna have a productive conversation. But at least with the Armenian perspective, we're gonna kind of show why that's problematic. And people might have an easier time understanding that so essential, kenosis goes a step further than arminianism. But it's not necessarily. I don't think it's necessarily out of step with some of the stuff that's in the early church. And I tried to show this in chapter two where I talk about central gnosis in the book, I use the letter of Dionysius, which is a letter from sometime in the second century. The author says that God there is no compulsion and God. So I think kind of the idea that God cannot control and that's in the second century, right? And the I think it's second Timothy might be getting that mixed up. But either first or second Timothy says that when when we are unfaithful, God remains faithful, for God cannot deny himself and, and that idea was continuous through much of the early church, particularly in the Eastern Church Fathers, Gregory Nisa, and Origen both say, hey, God can't do what's outside of God's nature. And God, nature is only the good is only loving. And so God can't do evil. And that's not a limitation on God. Right? That, you know, we might say, well, if your kid comes and running, and Daddy, I want that pig to fly. This is a weird example. But Daddy, I want that pig to fly. And before you say, well, actually little Jimmy, you know, pigs can't fly. It's not in their nature to fly. You can't expect it to fly because it's it's it's absurd to expect it to fly because it's not in its nature in the same way. It's absurd to expect God to be able to do things that are outside of God's nature. Yeah, that's not a limit upon God.

Seth Price 23:02

Yeah. So a couple things on that. Do you know what Cincinnati Wk RP is? It's a show. I do not, then you're not going to get this reference. I'm going to send you a YouTube link. It's not going to be funny. And so I'm not going to put it into the episode. But man, the pigs fly. Makes me think about turkeys flying, which makes me think about, you know what I am going to tell you. So it's a show from like the 70s like my dad would have watched it growing up. Yeah. And it's a radio station in Cincinnati. And they're trying to drum up like business or giveaways or whatever and it's around Thanksgiving, they want to be thankful so they get all of these turkeys and put them in a helicopter. And they they throw them out of the helicopter. In an attempt to try to give turkeys away for Thanksgiving to all the people that you know need a turkey.

Gabriel Gordon 23:45

These are live Turkey. Yeah, are there better?

Seth Price 23:48

Well, they're dead because they can't fly. So these turkeys are die bombing the city there's a part at the end the guys so contrite and he's like I swear to God is my witness. I thought that turkeys could fly. Like I genuinely but either way in my I'll have to send it to you. I've lost it's

Unknown 24:06

funny. I'm laughing.

Seth Price 24:09

I haven't seen it. It's good. It's good. It's a very old show. Um, so yeah, that's that Timothy reference is actually one of my favorite verses and I'm not one for memorizing scripture. It's actually Second Timothy. Two, something I don't remember the exact verse But it says if we are not faithful, he remains faithful faithful because he can't be false to himself or untrue to himself recant deny himself or something that I'm not. I had too many versions running through my head. I don't know exactly what it is. Um, yeah, yeah. So no, I like that. What? So you tackle inerrancy in the book quite a bit and inspiration in the book quite a bit. But before I get there, you said something a moment ago and it escapes me now. But you would talk to the problem of evil, you know, and and you know, if God can stop things, and he doesn't stop things, and that's an issue, so that It leads me to a question that I think I've only ever also asked Pete ends. And so my question is, you have an entirely smaller, maybe 40 page book of subtitles. Matter of fact, on one of the pages gave the subtitle or not the subtitle, the the subtext, or the footnote or whatever it's called. I said, subtitle that's the wrong thing. But it's at the bottom. It's at the bottom of the screen, you know what I mean? Bottom of the bottom of the page. One of them, I think there's only like, seven sentences on the page. And the remainder of the pages is set aside for footnotes, of which one of those footnotes is like two paragraphs long, and it's not a reference back to another book, it is literally you, I guess, working in words that you wanted to say but didn't want to beat you did not want to be in the actual print, hoping that people wouldn't read them. But what so what is the purpose of a footnote? In an in a book of this way, because there's a lot of tongue in cheek there is that just you trying to, you know, express something that you hope that people won't read? And the reason I asked that is the first one that I I read was number five. And I think it actually says, You see, yeah, yeah, says that whole DC franchise, I have it here, the whole DC franchise has unfortunately tried to play catch up with the cinematic Marvel Universe, whereas Marvel spent nearly a decade developing their storyline, which is part of the reason it's so good DC tried to do it, and bah, bah, bah, bah, blah. But that whole four four sentence footnote is literally just referencing one line from the Batman Superman movie. Yeah. What is the purpose of a footnote? Like, like legitimately? Or is this just a way to put zingers in there?

Gabriel Gordon 26:40

as well? I think I could footnotes I think are like, originally an academic thing, right? And it's generally I think, to show you, Hey, I'm only talking about this particular topic this much. But actually, here's all the background information and all the stuff I know about to show you that I did my homework, and I'm not dumb. I, and I, that's not going to go in the text. So I think that's kind of like the academic reason. Um, so some of that is, I would say behind why I'm putting footnotes, some of it, obviously, not this one. But there are many. Yeah, some of it is just so you know, in particular topic. I'm not. When you're writing a book like this, you got to be careful because you're going to bore people really easily. And so oftentimes, I'll put things on the footnote that I think are pertinent, or whether it's a definition of a particular term, I did that as well. Just extra stuff that I think is helpful that but it's not necessarily necessary to the text itself. However, I also liked saying things that complement those zingers in there for those people who special people that were willing to read the footnotes. So give him some I think I have one about zombie horses

Seth Price 28:03

you do in the end? I think that's in chapter six. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. And I mean,

Gabriel Gordon 28:07

like, how could I you know, that's what he brought up about DC. How could I not mention that? Because it was such a terrible movie,

Seth Price 28:14

like the bus? Do you not realize the the paradox that you've put people in so to get the full context, they now have to read or watch the movie. And so you're, you're pointing people towards a terrible movie to get the full context of what you've written. And it feels it feels wrong to me, because I agree, it just isn't.

Gabriel Gordon 28:35

So So I will say, I had not thought about that. Now, my whole world is just imploding. But, but, you know, bad movies, in some ways can have a pedagogical function, they can have a teaching function, right? Because they show you how not to do a movie, right? My grandpa was a missionary, and he left my grandma for a Thai prostitute. He serves as a wonderful negative example of what not to be like when you're a missionary. So and so you know, maybe that's what this movie is about? to show us not how not how not to do movies.

Seth Price 29:11

Fair enough. So I don't necessarily want to be the zombie horse of inerrancy. That is not the way you use that. I don't believe that footnote but that's okay. That's the way I'm going to use it. Just because for a couple reasons. So we'd referenced Jared from a few a few a few minutes ago and I he was one of the first people I talked to on the show and we already talked about that a couple times though, we can weave it in and out. I'm more interested in the way that God speaks through inspiration, and how that relates to the Bible that you and I have today. And I want to ask a question after that that regardless of what your answer is, I'm going to find a way to make the question work because it is the one question that I wrote down because I would like your opinion on it but inspiration How is God speaking through that to be tongue in cheek off of the the way that you've you've worded the book?

Gabriel Gordon 29:59

Yeah. How is okay? Yeah, we're gonna have to zoom out for a bit fair enough buckle up, we're getting on a roller coaster. So okay, put on some pants, maybe a diaper. Put on some socks, it can haven't blown up. So first of all, I'm deeply influenced by Eastern Orthodoxy and in the eastern tradition of the early church. And when we think about inspiration in the West, especially the modern West, we have a totally different conception of what the early church did. So when we think about inspiration, today, we think about it, we locate inspiration in the minds of the authors, and in the words of the page, that is we located in the past, historically, in the past, um, whereas that's not how and that's why all of this comes from modern biblical scholarship that arose in the 17th 18th and 19th centuries, which has a historical focus. But that's not how the early church thought about meaning. And therefore, because inspiration was located in the past, in the minds of the authors in the words of the page, meaning itself is located in the original, the original intended meaning by the author that is found in the words in the past. So meaning is the is history. And that's a way of looking at history. That's very modern. That's why you find conservative evangelical textual critics going back to trying to figure out what did the original text say? Because they they see truth and meaning as located in the past. And this is the same, the same understanding of history that actually underlines the Jesus seminar people who also go back, what did Jesus actually say, because they both are convinced by modernist conceptions of what it means to know things and where knowledge and meaning is located. They're both convinced that it's in the past. And that's a modern way of thinking about all desk. So and the early church, meaning is not located in the author's meaning is not located in the words of the text itself. Meaning is located in the interpretation of the text. That's also where inspiration is located. And so and it's, it's specifically it's located in the person of Jesus, right, so when the Philip, when the unic, the Ethiopian unit runs into I fill up the evangelists on the road back to Ethiopia, he's a pasta light, who's come to Jerusalem, because he's converted to the faith that the Jewish faith, he's not Jewish, he's Ethiopian, but he's converted the Jewish faith has gone to Jerusalem to to worship God. And now going back to Ethiopia, he's sitting in his chariot. On the side of the road. He's reading the scroll of Isaiah, one of the scrolls of Isaiah. And Philip comes along, he meets a mysterious like, what's that Broca's Philips an extrovert, right? And the Ethiopian says, Who is the Prophet talking about himself or someone else? So here's, here's, here's the, here's the good stuff. Our question, if we were the people in that church, we would have said, what was the intended meaning by the original author? What did this mean back then? That's not what the Phil, that's not what the unit asks. He says, Who is this about? Which isn't a question about the past, whether the author what they intended, or whether what the contextual meaning of the words are historically? It's a question of the who, which is in the now here now. So Philips answers him. He doesn't he doesn't negate his question. He doesn't say you're asking the wrong question. He assumes he's asking the right question. And he says, Jesus, so so the meaning of the text, and its inspiration is not found the words themselves are the authors in the minds of the authors. It's found in the person of Jesus. And so when we're looking at second text, like Second Timothy, where it says, All scripture is God breathed. There's a couple texts that kind of help, I think, illuminate what this means, given what we have just kind of shuffled out concerning how we understand meaning and inspiration, where it's located and how their relationship. So the first text I want to briefly mention is Genesis one, right? In Genesis one, or maybe it's to Genesis two, I think two seven. I'm like the beginning that makes up one of those chapters. It talks about the creation of Adam, right? And and there's two, there's two stages to the creation of Adam. There's, God takes the dust of the earth and he forms Adam which forms is kind of another way to say creates, he creates alchemy forms out him from the dust of the earth, and then that's the first part of this process. And then only then, does he breathe the life of God into Adam, making Adam an animated living being So dennis is the author of Second Timothy, who, by the way, is the first one, as far as we can tell, to coined the word God breathed, didn't exist before, right? Seems to be harping back to Genesis, which is the New Testament authors are doing this all the time. And so he seems to be hearkened back to Genesis, but he doesn't say All scripture is God breathed. Here. He doesn't say All scripture is God formed and God breathed. Or that it's God formed. He says, God breathed. So it's not created by God. It's breathed in by God. And remember, what does john 14 six say? JOHN 14 six says that I'm the way that Jesus speaking I'm the way the truth in life. So Jesus is life. And as we know, in the Nicene Creed, Jesus, it says, we believe in the Holy Spirit, the giver of life. Well, who is life, Christ His life? What does that second process that God breathes into Adam, the life of God? Yeah. So the life of God being breathed, given by the Holy Spirit is Christ. So and then we jump to Matthew, chapter five, verse 17, through 19, the sermon on now I promise, these are connected. So Jesus says, I've not come to abolish the law and the prophets, right? But to fulfill them. But then that bastard couple verses later, is like, Hey, what's up? Guys? You've heard that, you know, in the Old Testament, it says, You should hate your enemy, you know, and you should do this. So this actually doesn't say necessarily say hate your enemy. I think it's implied. But he but he says, You've heard it said I for it is for today, or you've heard it say, to swear on oath. And then he says, But I say to you, yeah, you know, love your enemies. Take care of them, so forth. Do that your Yes, be yes. And your No, no, anything more comes from the evil one. And so basically says, actually, those old testament texts got it wrong. And I'm telling you something, I'm telling you the truth because I am first. I am the Thor. And in Matthew, what you find is over and over and over the con. And actually, I think most of the Gospels, the concept of where, where his authority located comes up time and time again. And in Matthew, it's always Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. And at the very end of Matthew 20. He says, I have all authority in heaven on earth has been given to me. You didn't say scripture does, he says he does. Doesn't say the church does. He says he does. But and when he says, But I say to you, he's calm, he seems to be contradicting what he just said a few verses earlier, when he says, I've not come to abolish all the profits, but to fulfill them. So what's going on here, I think there's a couple ways we can handle this. And one of those ways to talk about a book maybe if you want to talk about that later, we can't, but connecting to what we were talking about inspiration a moment ago, this is all coming together promise. Um, so the word behind fulfill is in Greek is play row. And it can be translated as fulfill, that's one of the Submit semantic meanings, meanings of the word. It can also be translated as to make full of, or to fill, and origin and the third century who I'm a big fan of, and his commentary on the book of Matthew, He pulls out this text and he starts to speak about scripture, metaphorically, he uses the metaphor of a net, and he says, scripture, as the net, before Christ was yet to be filled. And then he cites Matthew 517. So it seems that Matthew understands that at least this word plays a role in the context, Matthew 517, that I've come to abolish the law and profits, but to play for them to fulfill them, at least has the double meaning of to fill. So if Jesus is saying, I've not come to abolish the law and the prophets, but to fill them, will whatever you remember about fulfilled, we remember Genesis, the creation round, that God breathes, the Holy Spirit gives life that life is Christ, he feels it and doubt him, and then he becomes a living being. Yeah, and this is incarnational language right here, right? I like to think about it in terms of a jelly doughnut, you know, the donut being scripture. And the jelly is Jesus who is squeezed into it by the Holy Spirit of anger.

Seth Price 38:59

Is there a way to do this without diabetes?

Gabriel Gordon 39:01

No. I'm always talking about diabetes because it runs in my family on both my grandparents have it and I'm always I can't I can't bring home ice cream, you're going to give me diabetes. I use analogies to diabetes and so yeah, so so when he says I'm not going to abolish long profits but to fill them and we connect that to the Genesis and then when we go back take all that back with us to second Timothy 316 inspiration is not the mind that the author's it's not in the text itself. And indeed origin even talks about the the text is like he cited in Second Corinthians where Paul talks about we have jars, clay jars with treasure inside of them. He's he he uses that analogy from Paul to say that scripture is are these clay jars, these broken clay jars and what's inside of it is Christ. So inspiration is sacramental or incarnational. For for those who are not from Sacramento language so cry inspiration is the Holy Spirit taking up these texts and failing Christ Christ Sacramento or incarnational presence into the text and it becomes the literal text becomes a sort of body for the for the presence of Christ within and he becomes allegorical or spiritual meaning within and that's why fill up and the Ethiopian can say who is the Prophet talking about meaning is located in the who is located in Christ Christ He is the meaning because he is the one present in the text transforming it into his image

Seth Price 40:38

been enough weeks you know what that sound means 1530 seconds tops I'm going to be back in just a second so the you talked about the net b this is not my other question I just want to follow up on a few things so yeah you talked about the Nets being filled you know by by Christ is that you using that as as a as an analogy or is that that net that net usage in the text

Gabriel Gordon 41:22

so that is from origin it's not an nothing because I can tell what did the analogy of Scripture as a net being filled with Christ is from Origin

Seth Price 41:32

The only reason I ask is I'm the it calls to mind the other story with a net where you know that they've been fishing all day can't find any fish there is no food which without food there is no life yeah shows up dude you're doing it wrong just throw it over there trust me it's gonna be fine I'm okay I'm here now and I'm here with you and then all of a sudden we're tipping over boats with life or food or fish was

Gabriel Gordon 41:55

who's who was the early symbol for Jesus yeah for the Christians

Seth Price 41:58

yeah fish Yeah,

Gabriel Gordon 41:59

right yeah so yeah origin would be proud of you you just read that allegorical and you you got this you you found Christ in the tabs?

Seth Price 42:07

I don't so I've been told what did so I talked to Barbara brown Taylor and she told me I was a pernis kapus furnish I don't know what the word is I know how to say it a reader like a certain type of reader where you take things into like oh these go together and some editor came in and said nope, you need to put 400 words in between here but they should have been you know they were originally to get Yeah. Which based on your like appendices or extra stuff at the end appears as though the editor of this book told you to do the same thing because there's actually stuff in the back that appears to go in the first part of the book but that's a different conversation.

Gabriel Gordon 42:38

Tom it was Tom was it tom tom tom he was the he was brought on as like the theological editor so just to kind of give feedback and yeah, he told me it was too much. You

Seth Price 42:49

said something in passing that I don't think most people listening maybe they caught on and didn't and heard it and said hey, what so I want to call back to it so you reference Second Timothy 316 and you basically said that word doesn't exist anywhere else? Like I'm assuming you mean in the Bible or do you mean in history? Or because there's other words like that like what is it the ark so I don't know how to say it the word that people will use about homosexuality that's later on. It's a rk fcn How do you say I'd have to look at my Bible how long it's another one of those words that like exists only in Scripture and then like an Oracle like a siren or a civil Oracle one of those other Yeah, are

Gabriel Gordon 43:27

Yeah, so this word so when, when a scholar is looking at words have meaning only according to their use, right? Words are given meaning all words are made up and they're given meaning by how they're used in a sentence and in the context so when a scholar wants to decide what does this word mean, they're going to look how is it used in its sentence and its paragraph in the letter as a whole? Is it says so for instance, for this word that we translate is God breathed in Second Timothy, they're gonna say, is this anywhere else in Second Timothy? Is it anywhere else in nice, I'm gonna ask is it found anywhere else in the New Testament? And if it is, they're gonna say, Okay, well, how does this help us under looking at how it's used? How does it help us understand its meaning? They're also going to look anywhere else in the contemporary Jewish literature surrounding this text and in the Greco Roman literature, contemporaneous surrounding this text maybe around the same time a little bit before a little bit after and it seems that the author is second Timothy, coined this word that they they're the ones that first came up with it and so we don't have so those those people like john MacArthur, I'm gonna throw him under the bus who say, Oh, this word means it means it's God's word God breathed means it came straight out of the mouth of God, it's the Word of God. He can't say that. It's it's, it's it's a it's a lot more complicated than that. We don't necessarily easily have the meaning, which is part of the reason why I think you have to go to some of these other texts to kind of fill out some of that meaning and I think you have to go to the first people that you That word. And the first people that use that word were out what's outside the New Testament for the church fathers, and that the way they you they used it was much broader than the way we use it. So they used inspiration to talk about the work of the Greek philosophers like Plato and Socrates and to talk about their own writings. The author of either first or second climate. talks about his own writing is inspired by God, Gregor and Nisa talking about his brother basil, his commentary on Genesis one and the fourth century says it was more inspired than Moses, his own writing. They taught us to refer to, to bishops and Creed's and the decisions of councils and, and amongst other writings, and so that's not to say that everything, we tend to think what's inspired is scripture, which is not really how they didn't think those were synonymous. But that's not to say everything is scripture. But it's to say that inspiration as a concept, a theological concept was used in a much broader way than we use it today. And it's not used synonymously with the Word of God. When they say inspiration, they don't use it to say, this is the word of God, because they use it to talk about monks, and all these other things I mentioned. And so if you look in those contexts, when you swap that out real quick with Word of God, and you look at that, does that make sense? In the context, it doesn't, it's not synonymous. Yeah,

Seth Price 46:27

so yeah. So I want to nuance that a bit. So is there a difference between inspired writing and scripture? And if no, why is the Canon closed? And why are other things not more readily today considered scripture?

Gabriel Gordon 46:45

So first of all, john Bair, a Eastern Orthodox patristic scholar, points out that it's not until the 1700s that the word canon even gets used to refer to a set list of books and the Bible. Before then it was used to refer to the rule of faith. The canon of truth is another way it was talked about, which is essentially the gospel message kind of the Creed's are an example of the rule of faith or canon of faith. And so that was actually there was no idea of sola scriptura. When we when we think about, especially Protestants, when we think about the early church, we kind of anachronistically we we superimpose sola scriptura back into the early church. And we think that the Canon was how they decided things, right? The canon of Scripture was how they decide things, but it actually wasn't it was the rule of faith, which you can find this rule of faith. The Creed's, again, are a form of it, you find it in there. And as an origin, a bunch of early writers, and they all kind of agree on some of the basic same things that God is a creator, everything that God has taught us, that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and is fully human, the virgin birth, resurrection, the ascension, some of these basic things. And that was what they use to decide what was scripture. So for instance, they take the Gospel of Thomas, which is a gnostic, so called gospel and they would say, this doesn't line up with this totally discounts any of the suffering of Christ totally discounts the cross, and doesn't line up with the rule of faith. It can't be we can't consider it scripture. And so the inspiration did get applied to other texts. And people certainly thought that other scriptures that didn't end up in our quote unquote, New Testament canon, that early Christians believed were scripture. So like the shepherd of her moss and the decay were examples of books that were considered scripture by some of the early church. And so depending on who you talk to certain books they would consider scripture would be different from other people. So it was more that it was more gray but there certainly were books that the church did not that agreed on these are not scripture like the gospel Thomas and and so and then that also brings into the the problem of cannon we kind of think, I think, possibly, I think, Dan Brown's book and the movie that was made off with Tom Hanks, The Da Vinci Code, I think, probably has something to do it shapes our, our, kind of when we picture canonization, we picture that movie right the scene where there's a bunch of old white dudes and the council and I see through 25 and Turkey, and they're deciding what books go into Bible and whatnot and they're like, secretly Oh, we can't have these gnostic books. That's that's that couldn't be farther from the historical fact.

Seth Price 49:27

There are no white dudes there. No, yeah. No, why didn't the coach want to get a T shirt

Gabriel Gordon 49:31

that says, Council and I see it on the back hashtag no whites.

Seth Price 49:34

I'll make it Yeah.

Gabriel Gordon 49:36

So this church, and so yeah, they were all brown dudes. Athanasius was a black dude from Nubia. And he was at the Council and ICC had black people he had brown people from Turkey and Syria in Egypt. And but

Seth Price 49:50

Jesus was white when he was at nicea though, right?

Gabriel Gordon 49:53

Oh yeah, definitely blond hair, blue eyes. So then, and not only that, Were they brown and black? They were actually. So they were actually they were the topic of what books are in the Bible and what are not never came up that nothing to do with any of the council's any of the ecumenical councils, the council and I see that council council Don and 381, the Council of emphasis and 431, the Council of calcined on 451. None of those have anything to do with what books go into the Bible and whatnot. Those have to do with doctrines of God, who is Jesus? Who is the Holy Spirit? Who is the father? Yeah,

Seth Price 50:34

almost all of the stuff Yeah.

Gabriel Gordon 50:36

Yeah, nothing to do with, with the Bible. So, so yes, there's no such thing as canon. We all do agree on 27 books in New Testament, but that's just you know, that we that's how, over time, we all have ended up using 27 books, Protestant, Catholic, Eastern Orthodox have all ended up using so on a practical level, there is functionally a Canon but never officially did account Ecumenical Council get together and say these are 27 books. And for the Old Testament, it's even more complicated because we do have three different different books. So orthodox have a different number than the Catholics. And that's a different number than than the Protestants. Protestants have the least amount of books for people that say, you know, solid script, Torah, you know, they have the least amount of books you think they want more books, most edited, most editing. So to answer your question, so no canon. But there were were books that weren't considered scripture that were inspired. And then there were other scriptures that aren't in our New Testament, they were considered scripture by certain people. And so the picture is kind of complicated.

Seth Price 51:43

Yeah. So is there anything to say then that I can't take I shoot, let's just take this one. I'm going to take this one because it's here. It's small. So there's nothing to say that I couldn't say just this is this is scripture. This is inspired. This is scripture. I say that tongue in cheek. Yeah.

Gabriel Gordon 51:58

Why not? Or in CS Lewis is great. He should be a saint.

Seth Price 52:01

Can you be a saint if you're not part of the Catholic Church?

Gabriel Gordon 52:05

Was there saints in the Eastern Orthodox Church?

Seth Price 52:07

That's what I meant. That's what I yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Was he but he wasn't Eastern Orthodox either. Was he?

Gabriel Gordon 52:13

No, he was my denomination Anglican. But here's the best kind of angle can I think he was a, an Anglo orthodox? His theology is not very Protestant that I can tell I think it's not Eastern Orthodox. But yeah, but could I call so let's go.

Seth Price 52:27

Could I call that scripture?

Gabriel Gordon 52:29

Um, I would probably say no. Could you call it inspired? Maybe, okay. But could you call it scripture? I would, my personal opinion would probably be no, I would say, what does the church call scripture, right? So I wouldn't say you know, this church has never called CS lewis's but and it's too new, right? We have these other books have been around 2000 years now. And for 2000 years, the church has functionally used most of these books as scripture. So

Seth Price 52:59

enough what in your dog's face when you saw your dog said to yourself, that's Karl Barth.

Gabriel Gordon 53:07

So he does kind of look like cardboard if you put glasses on him. It's kind of got that wrinkly face, well, man face, but I originally wanted to name him origin. And my wife was like, there's no way we're naming our origin. And so we were going through names Ignatius of Antioch and john Wesley and

Seth Price 53:27

so your wife had no history. Your wife got no,

Gabriel Gordon 53:31

like those. She liked Carl Bart. No, she we went with Carl Bart, because she was like, we have some someone popped out the name Carl Bart, and she was like, I like Carl. Bart. Carl? Yeah, so we just call him Bart. But his full name is Carl Bart. So and because, you know, because Bart wrote a bunch of dogmatics. You know, it's kind of funny.

Seth Price 53:51

Yeah. Yeah. towards the back half of your book. And this will be the last probably heavy question I'll ask you. And then we'll end with a few because and for those listening, there is a lot in this book, it is the we've, we would we would have to talk for seven or eight hours to actually talk through the book. And I don't, I don't have the ability to do that. I'll have to eat it eventually. But there's a part in here, you're talking about Louis's model, and I can't remember what is the model of but you say what I'm calling participatory incarnation of inspiration. And so we may need to define that. But the part here is that I am trying to get where is it at? Hold on, let me find it. So you say are you right? This initial response is what we call scripture. God continues this participatory act of revealing God's self through a back and forth dialogical process, even after scriptures production. And then you go on further to say so it's not as if scripture is our only response to God, but we continue to respond to the revelation who is the word that comes to us through the text, we can sum up this we can sum up the process this way. God presents God's self and our initial response to that is scripture. And so can you break that Part of it because that is that 157 in the PDF. I don't know if that's the actual page. Okay,

Gabriel Gordon 55:08

I'll find it. So continue with your question. No. So

Seth Price 55:10

that is the question. So that's why I asked that question about CS Lewis, not specifically Louis, I just happens to be the smallest book up here. And the other ones are actually a Muslim and Islamic books. Because that's what I'm trying to learn about recently. Because why not learn something new? It just happened to be happenstance that it is CS Lewis, there's a Rob Bell, but behind there, it would be really heretical if I said, Could this be scripture, people would just would just, you know, hit hit the eject key on on subscribing to the show. Yeah, so essentially, Yeah, why not? Yeah. So what is participatory incarnation of inspiration? And I can't remember what it's called. But like the chapter before you actually contest that with a different way? of it's not it's I think it's Greg Boyd, you give Boyd has a different view, of incarnation of inspiration. But, but yeah, can you break apart what lewis's model is, and why you're calling it participatory? Yeah.

Gabriel Gordon 56:00

Louis had this. Let's see if I can find the quote. Yeah. So in his book, reflection on the song, which is a fantastic book on the Bible, um, I just read the quote here real quick. He says, In this towards the beginning of the book, it seems to me appropriate, almost inevitable, that when that great imagination, speaking about God, which in the beginning, for its own delight, in for the delight American angels, and obese had invented and formed the whole world of nature, submitted to express itself, that being God, and human speech, that speech should sometimes be poetry, for poetry, too, is a little incarnation, giving body to what had been before invisible and Inaudible. So CS Lewis had this view, and I don't think it's, it's, it's not exclusive to him, it goes back to it's kind of a general incarnational view of, of the Bible and of Christ, that goes back to the early church. But he had this view, that human speech, poetry and human speech in general, served as a vehicle for the Word of God being the second person of the Trinity, whom we call Jesus Christ. And so I kind of take that, and add to it a little bit. So when we talked about in chapter three, I talk about participatory notions of inspiration. So essentially, in that chapter, I say, God reveals God's self, and revelation is always Christ, right? from the New Testament perspective. And when God reveals God's self, we as human beings who always interpret things, right, when we're never not interpreting things, what we receive is interpreted. And then what we produce out of that as a response is a human interpretation of that response. And so God reveals God's self, that's the first part. We respond, it's naturally interpreted in that responses as human interpretation. So that's the first part. That's why it's participatory, because it's not just like Gods dumping a bunch of words on a page, and that's God. That's how God made scripture. No, it's God does really reveal God's self. But then it's up to us to interpret that. And we produce human scriptures that are a human response or interpretation. So that's kind of the first step. But that process of God revealing God's self, and then us responding to it doesn't stop with the production of Scripture, right? It continues. So God then picks up those words, as a vehicle for himself. And the Holy Spirit squeezes Jesus the jelly into the donut, right? And squeeze it, it squeezes him into the words of Scripture about your shirt right there. That's jelly doughnuts.

Seth Price 58:46

No jelly, doughnut, Jesus,

Gabriel Gordon 58:48

jelly, jelly cheese. So he squeezes Jesus into into the words of Scripture, and then those serve as a vehicle to bring him to us once again. And then we respond to that right, with a human interpretation. And then that response, he picks up again, and starts the whole process over. So it's just this continual process of God incarnate and God's self in in through what we humans respond and interpret. Does that make sense?

Seth Price 59:24

It does. So that's theosis then correct or is that am I using the wrong there?

Gabriel Gordon 59:31

With theosis is the US participating in the divine nature becoming more and more like Him sharing more and more in his and mortality and likeness? So I don't I mean, I think that's probably part of the process. Because when we do encounter Christ, right, and we freely open ourselves up to Christ, we are brought in to further union and share with the divine. So yeah, I think that is part scripture. Definitely serve as a means for our theosis. Right? Okay. It's I think how I would say,

Seth Price 1:00:04

Yeah, um, this is not in your book, but I'm curious. So the way that I've used sin is an intentional act that breaks Shalom, or the kingdom of God, like I intentionally chose us and I create a small hell. And so in keeping with the jelly doughnut metaphor, what portion of my personal malicious sin enters in through that metaphor of a jelly doughnut? like is that me throwing out the box? Like, I want to stretch the metaphor a bit, but I'm hoping I'm asking my question in a good way. I don't know if I am or not like, that's the best way I can ask it.

Gabriel Gordon 1:00:40

If I'm understanding you correctly, you're saying does Jesus does the jelly enter into our doughnuts of sin?

Seth Price 1:00:46

Well, I don't believe in original sin, but like, where it

Gabriel Gordon 1:00:49

just yeah, our particular doughnuts. Yes. Yes. I keep stretching the metaphor. Yeah. Um, yeah, you shouldn't believe in originalist. And that's an image of Augustine. You should believe in the Eastern Orthodox perspective. But anyway,

Seth Price 1:01:02

I do. I do. I originally made bless it and hold Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Gabriel Gordon 1:01:06

Amen. frisbee to him. So yeah, I have thought about this a little bit. Um, we can go back to the Hitler example. Does

Seth Price 1:01:18

does does Godwin's law exist on podcast? This is what you don't know what Godwin's law is? I don't think so you continue saying what you're gonna say. And I'll find a coordinated sense.

Gabriel Gordon 1:01:28

So I'll start with this Maximus. So this is my first time really trying to articulate this question and then out loud processor. So this is gonna sound probably jumbled. But Maximus the Confessor in the seventh century, said that all of creation is an incarnation of the Word of God, that being who we know is Jesus Christ. And so and that's the eastern perspective that all things are sacramental, right? All things are filled with Christ. All things are a vehicle that bring us into the presence of the word, not just the bread and wine, not just scripture, not just, you know, the, the rain or whatever. But everything is sacrament, everything is filled with the presence of Christ. And if that's true, my initial thought, not giving too much thought to it, but my initial thought would be yes, that God is filled into our sin, I don't buy the idea that God is holy, and therefore cannot stand in the presence of holiness, because one that seems to defeat Omni presence versus a, I tend to be a classical theists. So to deny the Omni presence of God, I think would be problematic. So if God really is everywhere, then God is always around sin, God is present in and through and, and through it. And all around it, we live and move and have our being in God. And that includes our sinful acts as well. So my initial thoughts is, yes, that God could certainly use that as a vehicle. I. That's with only, you know, initial thoughts. I could see maybe that being problematic, you know, if we think about a rape or Hitler's genocide, like how much do we want to say that God is present in that? And maybe that's some of that paradoxical ness of the cross that we we don't want to say that Christ that God is present in the suffering of the cross, right? But there he is, and I and maybe that's a way of saying, the revelation test to say that God has always been present in our suffering, and in this in the sin that causes suffering, and is there present, seeking to persuade us to the good seeking to bring transformation and seeking to make alive what is dead because sin is, in some sense, is dead, right? It's something that's not really doesn't have life in and of itself. It's the the absence of life. And so if Christ who is life is present in all things, including our sin, then he seeks to, to resurrect and to bring life into those areas of our life that are on unfathomably evil.

Seth Price 1:04:09

So yeah,

Gabriel Gordon 1:04:10

I don't know if any of that made sense. No, no,

Seth Price 1:04:12

I like it. And I also feel as though I told you at the beginning, I like to ask questions that are not in the book jacket. And so I feel as though the fact that you're like, I don't matter that process, I count that as a success. I again, I like to ask questions that are slightly different. So Godwin's law is this if you can believe Wikipedia and and why not? So it says it is a it is an internet adage, asserting that as an online discussion grows longer, regardless of the topic or scope, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Adolf Hitler approaches. In less mathematical terms, the longer the discussion, the more likely a Nazi comparison becomes, and with a long enough discussion, it is an absolute certainty. Wow. Yeah. So and to be honest, if you like get in the Facebook comments have a long enough thread and eventually it always happens like it's just a few degrees of separation of the original posts. It is quite fun to watch devall anyway, doesn't matter. So this questions, I got two final questions for you. And then and then I'll have you point people where they should go, which is not the author page of the Misfits theology page we've already discussed. It'll be fixed. I didn't discuss that. So and this may go to one of the other books you said you were writing. But so one of the questions is I that I've been asking people in it, and I take it just from the name of the show, because I realized I wasn't actually using that to the full, you don't want to get all of the legs out of that horse that I can. What are some of the things that you feel like we should be speaking about in our churches or feel liberated enough to be able to talk about in our churches, not as a clergy, but as a congregation? And maybe if we don't, it's actually going to cause quite a bit of damage if we can't figure out the the courage to do so?

Gabriel Gordon 1:05:47

Yeah, I'm, I'm going to get vulnerable here. There are plenty of things that we do talk about, right? And often, those devolve into arguments like if I would have, Can I Say This At Church? I was thinking about that question. Because that's the name of the podcast, right? And when I was in the Southern Baptist world, which is where I came from, when I wandered in the Episcopal to the Episcopal Church, what I found was that I could not be open about what I thought about scripture about the conclusions, I was coming to what I was seeing in Scripture itself. And when I came to the Episcopal world, there, you know, if I, if I did have those conversations, right, those conversations are happening a lot, say in the southern baptist church, it's just that there's a very specific answer they want, which I actually think is a heretical answer. Which is right, the that the Bible is the Word of God, I actually think that's heresy. Just dropped that piece in there. I'm not gonna say any more about that. But, um, but if, but I couldn't really, if I didn't give that answer, right. You know, I couldn't actually say that out loud, because it would devolve into to, to an argument, and maybe shaming and asteroseismic and getting kicked out, which I eventually did get kicked out of a Southern Baptist Church. But, um, so two things. Part of what drew me to the Episcopal Church was that I could say things in church, right, that I wouldn't necessarily have been able to say, my fundamentalist background. Um, but the thing I want to say, quickly, and then I'll jump to another thing is that when we do have conversations about things that we disagree about, right, whether it's scripture, first of all, we should be able to say, talk about these things, right. And we should be able to talk about them in a way that's filled with grace, and kindness, and generosity, and mercy, and all those things that you know, the gifts of the Spirit that Paul talks about, and that are integral to the teachings of Jesus. And oftentimes, whether we're progressive, whether we're conservative, whether we're Catholic, or whatever the case may be, we aren't actually living out the teachings of Jesus when we have these conversations, right. And so, one, I do think we need to be able to have these conversations about the Bible. But I think one of the things that's so divisive to the church right now, and I know that for my, some of my own experience, but also the denomination is homosexuality, you brought it up earlier, right? That's not something that can be talked about in one way, and the fundamentalist world I came from, and it can't be talked about in another way, and the Episcopal world that I live in. If you're in the Southern Baptist world, or ag world, for instance, if you have a progressive view of homosexuality, you can't talk. You can't talk about that, right? That's not something you can say at church don't get kicked out. But if you're in the Episcopal Church, oftentimes, that's the same thing. But instead, now, if you have a conservative view, you can't say that a church, right? It'll be misunderstood. It'll be you'll get ostracized. And so I would hope that people I think that's one thing just because that's such a divisive topic right now, the United Methodist is about to have a split over it. The Episcopal Church had a split over at 1015 years ago at this point. And I don't think that's a matter of Orthodoxy. I think we this is something we can disagree about. We can have loving, respectful conversations about and we can come together and actually come come away from those conversations, disagreeing and still loving one another and being part of the same church. Yeah. So that that I think is something that immediately comes to mind. I've known people, I'll just be honest, I tend to have a more traditional view and my first Episcopal Church that I was in when I did say that at church, right? Can I Say This At Church? The answer was no, yeah, I'm the I was very viciously verbally attacked. And shamed and ostracized. And I think I ended up crying that night. And the lady accused me of making statements about rape, being the homeless better than homosexuality and all these absurd things that I never said. So I think this is a huge area where we can actually practice what it means to look like Jesus and follow Jesus. And sometimes that means eating at the same table with someone you disagree with, and doing so in a loving, respectful way. And coming away from that conversation, maybe even disagreeing, and still being able to come back the next day and have a beer with them.

Seth Price 1:10:37

So yeah, when you try to wrap or put words to what God is, what do you say to that?

Gabriel Gordon 1:10:47

Um, God looks like Jesus. I'm stealing that from Brian's on. But I think, I think that is spot on. When if you want to know what God looks like, Look to Jesus. Jesus is what God looks like. I think that also would include the Trinitarian nature. And I think that would include mystery. God is both noble and the person in face of Jesus, but God has also beyond anything that we could ever comprehend. He is infinite. And he's not a he, I just use that male pronoun, but God is beyond gender and beyond sex, beyond our human constructs, and yet is still knowable in the person of Jesus. And I think the dogma of the church, so

Seth Price 1:11:30

Yeah, perfect. Gabriel, I have enjoyed it. We've gone all over the place. I don't know that we talked about 12% of your book. And that's okay. That's okay. It is very good book, listening, you should go and get it. I very much enjoyed reading. And thanks again for sending it to me. But more importantly, a year and a half later. Thanks for thanks for finally coming on to the show. And that's not your fault. That's mine. But it's been it's been a pleasure to talk with you, my friend. Yeah.

Gabriel Gordon 1:11:55

I appreciate having me on the show. Yeah,

Seth Price 1:11:58

no problem. Now, I haven't added it up. But there are hundreds of 1000s, if not millions of podcasts on the internet. And I am humbled that you continue to download this one. This is your first time here. Please know that there are transcripts of these shows. Not always in real time, but I do my best. And if you go back in the logs, you can find transcripts for pretty much any episode that you'd like the show is recorded and edited by me, but it is produced by the patron supporters of the show. That is one of the best if not the best way that you can support the show. If you get anything at all out of these episodes, if you think on them, or if you you know you're out and about and you tell your friends about it or Hey, Mom, Dad, brother, sister, friend, boss, Pastor, here's what I heard, what are your thoughts on that? If this is helping you in any way, and it is helping me consider supporting the show in that manner. It is extremely inexpensive, but collectively, it is so very much helpful. Now for you. I pray that you are blessed and you know that you're cherished and beloved. We'll talk soon

We Are Not Alone with Rev. Wendy Hudson / Transcript

Note: Can I Say This at Church is produced for audio listening. If able, I strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which has inflection, emotion, sarcasm where applicable, and emphasis for points that may not come across well in written word. This transcript is generated using a combination of my ears and software, and may contain errors. Please check the episode for clarity before quoting in print.

Back to the Audio Episode


Wendy Hudson 0:00

This idea that we are created in beauty that were created in the image of God and were created as God's children. And that is our primary identity is as children of God. And as children of God, we are created in beauty and beautiful.

Seth Price 0:24

Here we go, it is time again to do this, right? Well, maybe, maybe your phone is auto playing this. And that's okay. let that happen to. Anyway, welcome to the show. I am Seth and this is the Can I Say This At Church podcast? Very, very, very excited to have someone that was referred to me by a good friend of mine on the show today. So pastor windy Hudson is on the podcast. So I went into this conversation with the Reverend here, with very, very, very few expectations. And I absolutely loved where this conversation went. I love the conversation. I love that we circled around blessing and being born amazing, as opposed to wretched. And it is. And it is an honor to get to have these conversations, and I'm thankful. Very thankful for voices like Wendy's. Anyway, let's get started. Here we are Reverend Wendy Hudson. Welcome to the show. I'm excited that you're here. And Steve, I'm assuming you're listening even though I don't think Steve listens to most of these. But Steve put us together. So Steve, appreciate you my friend.

Wendy Hudson 1:50

But we'll we'll quiz him on that later. We'll like hide a little easter eggs. And we're in the conversation to find out if you actually listened the whole way through.

Seth Price 1:58

What does he win?

Wendy Hudson 2:00

I'll buy him a coffee.

Seth Price 2:06

But I don't think Steve drinks real coffee. I think he drinks like that kind of, you know, coffee flavored sugar water.

Wendy Hudson 2:14

I've seen him recently. And it's been like, real coffee.

Seth Price 2:17

Really? I'm excited for him. He's grown up. He's grown up so well. Anyway, enough ragging on Steve, he's not here to defend himself. So who and what are you?

Wendy Hudson 2:29

Sure? I am? Oh, my gosh, I mean, in the metaphysical way,

Unknown 2:35

are you asking that are like my particular social location, whatever way you want to go?

Wendy Hudson 2:41

So many ways we could answer that. I guess in my social location, and kind of how we got connected up. I'm the pastor at two rivers church where United Methodist faith community in Charleston, South Carolina. I'm also my other primary identities are as a mom, I've got three teenagers, which is very fun. And I'm all those other things friend, daughter.

Seth Price 3:08

That doesn't. That doesn't sound fun. So I have almost one teenager. Okay. And it's not always that fun. Are you being facetious? Or do I have something to look forward to?

Wendy Hudson 3:19

I mean, I would say it is fun 75% of the time. So that's like the vast majority, I will say there's probably 25% of the time. It's a little bit challenging, huh? Yeah, I'll take the 75%. It's pretty fun.

Seth Price 3:40

Well, maybe there's light at the end of the tunnel. So anyhow,

Wendy Hudson 3:44

anyhow, 10 year old, they're really great when they get to that end, because they're

Seth Price 3:48

self sufficient, or because you can threaten to kick them out if they just want to keep continuing to run the mouth.

Wendy Hudson 3:53

Oh, see, I've been very fortunate. My oldest does not like to run his mouth. And a way that is now my 15 year old is an expert expert at the running the mouth

Seth Price 4:07

of the episode at the running,

Wendy Hudson 4:10

if we can, if we can, like survive. 15 earn a beat great.

Seth Price 4:16

Yeah, so for those listening, so you and I decided yesterday in the 12 minute phone conversation to have a conversation this morning with about that much prep work. And so that's what we're working with here. But honestly, these are my favorite. You had said yesterday, you know, I'm not sure that this is all that exciting or whatever. But I honestly feel like they are. Because these are the most real conversations. We're not talking a text. We're not trying to sell a book. We're not. We're not trying to get you new members of the church. We're not I don't even know if that's the right word. I'm Baptists. I don't know if members is the right word for a Methodist Church, but it probably is. Is that is that what you call them? Talk

Wendy Hudson 4:53

about folks in our community.

Unknown 4:54

Okay.

Wendy Hudson 4:56

Yeah, yeah, I mean, technically membership would be a thing. But we're much more about folks in our community.

Seth Price 5:03

Yeah, one of the best books that I've read in doing this show for, like four years ago is called unarmed Empire from Sean Palmer. And he's out in Houston, I think it's Houston. But he has a thing where he's like, you know, churches, you should draw five mile radius around your church. Those are your people, whether or not they give to your church, whether or not they come to your church, like, that's your job. Stop playing games.

Wendy Hudson 5:24

What do you run a 60 mile radius?

Seth Price 5:26

Oh, my. Yeah, that's a big radius. is a big radius. Yeah,

Wendy Hudson 5:30

actually, more than that, and the entire east coast and Mexico.

Seth Price 5:34

What? What is that? What do you mean?

Wendy Hudson 5:37

We those are our folks who connect themselves to our community, our primary filter in a 60 mile radius of Charleston, and then, but we have significant folks all up and down the eastern seaboard, and in Mexico, who consider themselves part of our community.

Seth Price 5:53

Yeah. How long have you been in your vocation? Like, what is that?

Wendy Hudson 5:57

I've been doing this full time for almost 20 years. So I could trace my call to the first time I felt the search stirring or sense to be a pastor, we call that our churchy language, like a call to ministry The first time I kind of felt that as an idea or stirring, I was in the fourth grade. So I could like trace, like, trace, you know, kind of what do you want to be when you grow up all the way back to the fourth grade? And I've done a couple other things in between, but primarily have have done this, you know, my whole my whole adult life?

Seth Price 6:33

And so can you give some context of that kind of what was your faith? Maybe when you started, or when you got into ministry? And what has that arc look like to whatever you are today?

Wendy Hudson 6:46

Yeah, well, I my parents still attend the very, you know, traditional United Methodist Church, and you know, small town, South Carolina that I grew up in, they still worship and attend there. So I was one of those folks who is like, you know, like, almost literally born into the church, I'm sure I was like, taken to church when I was like two or three weeks old. So all of my childhood, you know, my most vivid, most of my most vivid childhood memories take place somewhere within that building, or in that community. The people who, like were very influential in my life, came out of that experience. So I grew up, you know, I'm for those of your podcast listeners, I'm a white woman, straight white woman, my pronouns are she and her. I'm a straight white woman, and grew up in a very middle class, upper middle class, you know, home life, and that was also my religious upbringing. You know, that's my very mainline white tradition, traditional

Seth Price 7:44

American,

Wendy Hudson 7:47

American, Christian American experience. Yeah, that was mine. Growing up, and so my religious experience and my connection with God, I count myself very fortunate that I did not have any evangelical harm. That has been my primary, my now that I'm an adult, and much, you know, at least 50% of our church, if not more are recovering evangelicals. And like, when I hear the stories of what they were taught, or what they were learned, or what they, you know, what they learned, what they were taught, what they experienced, I am just horrified. You know, and that was not my, that was not my spiritual experience growing up. I grew up in a very, you know, an understanding, very much of like, God is love. Not very much of a powerful God. But but a God of God's presence. That's where I would say, if I had to kind of characterize the God of my childhood, it would be a God of presence. As most people I'm in South Carolina, as most people, you have some foray into southern baptist land, you live in South Carolina, especially as a teenager, you literally cannot escape it. And so I had that, you know, I had a two year like, foray into southern baptism, where I was baptized again, which is a huge

Seth Price 9:07

this was your choice to like change churches or your was Yes, a

Wendy Hudson 9:13

boy may have been involved as these things happen when you're 18. But then, when I so I was when part of that the last part of that experience was when I was my first year in college and had joined the Baptist Student Union at the University of South Carolina. And I was really sensing at that time that I was really being called into full time ministry as a profession or as a vocation. Those are like the churchy words that we use, but like I wanted to be a pastor. And I was really like, feeling that this was something that I was being called to do that this is what you know, something God wanted me wanted for me, and I went to talk to my campus minister Got it. And they were like, that is really great. You can work with women and I was like, but no, I feel you know, I feel called to like preach to the whole church and they're like, well, that's really awesome. You can work with children and I was like, I do not like kids. Oh, those are your choices. And I was like, Okay, time for me to exit this and go back to the church of my childhood. So and so I've been went literally next door because the Baptist Student Union and the Methodist student unit we're next we're in buildings next door to each other. So just like left one walked out, walked in the door of the other one, and so had the opportunity to like claim Methodism, we, the founder of United Methodism, was named john Wesley, he was an Anglican priest. So we call the type of theology that he really pioneered and the expressions we call that like Wesley and theology, so I really was able to then claim that particular expression of God's kingdom for myself as an adult, yeah, kind of back in making that intentional choice.

Seth Price 11:13

I know very little about the Methodist Church. I've been to a couple of funerals in the Methodist Church and I have a good friend that is a minister I guess that's the right word I'm going to use and Methodist Church just down the street. I know her but i don't i don't know much about the church I honestly think that most people that that are not necessarily listeners of the show or maybe new listeners but most people when they think of the church they have the Jim Jefferies they have the you know a model in their head the john MacArthur of the people that are on you know the news channels so that's Dallas First Baptist Dallas the the massive one that on the Fourth of July has a celebration of our of the birth of our of our Savior, the the aka the assault rifle. Yeah, I it's it has tongue in cheek as I can possibly be. Um, yeah, searches that feel more like addicted to Empire nationalism, greed, churches that look a lot like Babylon, and maybe a Syria or Rome, although they, they, they feel like they're the the underdog in those stories Anyway, what is can you contrast kind of like, like why there's such a big difference? And then I'd also kind of like you talked about people coming to you with stories of what they were taught, like, Can you name some of those things? And kind of some of the issues with them?

Wendy Hudson 12:33

Sure. You know, I think one of the biggest differences is that they they let me a lowly woman be a preacher. In Methodism, I would say that, you know, which is really interesting when you talk about, like, folks who come to us, and like what they've been taught or like recovering evangelicals are folks who have experience significant spiritual trauma and harm. A lot of times they say, one of the things that people are looking for, is a church pastored by a woman, or they're very surprised when they see that the lead pastor of this church is a woman, I mean, we are in the deep south. So that still is an experience that is an anomaly that's more uncommon than common. But it's really interesting that just my physical presence as a female identified person is sets such an immediate tone. And also, it somehow communicates a level of safety for folks who've experienced trauma and harm, that this is not going to be a place dominated by patriarchy, misogyny, and militarism. I mean, it's interesting that just like, just having a female pastor, for a lot of the folks who've experienced a lot of harm, just just my just my face and being communicate something so radically different than what their previous search experiences have been. But Methodism as a whole, like our Wesleyan theology is really theology centered on on the concept of grace and understanding. The way that we interpret it and live it out at two rivers church is that we are created beautiful we are most wearing our shirt, this is trans is beautiful, our kind of predominant tagline is you are beautiful. And so it's, it's on our koozies. And on our in rainbow and rainbow says rainbow your beautiful is on our T shirts, it's on our koozies it's on our stickers on our car, is everywhere. So that's kind of the primary, this idea that we are created in beauty that we're creating the image of God and we're created as God's children, and that is our primary identity is as children of God. And as children of God. We are created in beauty and beautiful and the purpose of our human life is in the way that we understand and the way that we translate it and our particular congregation is that our the purpose of our life then is recovering that sense of beauty that we've been created in, and then reshaping and remoulding our life to reflect the life of beauty, Grace, love, and hope and justice that Jesus shows to us. And so the kind of the primary motivation behind Wesley, in theology, Methodist theology is this idea of grace, that there's nothing that separates us from God, that there's nothing outside of God's grace. And that we are called to live our life within it, to be transformed by it. And then as a result of that, to help transform the world, into the sense of grace, welcome, beauty, love and justice.

Seth Price 15:44

So to contrast that with what I was taught in my independent regular Baptist upbringing, which is, it's more conservative than the Southern Baptist, because we're yet Yay, we're doing it. I was taught more now you were born wretched. From that first moment of conception you were you were born to perish and but by the grace of God, which is really a bad way to work through Ephesians and Colossians. And then to prove texts that into a different meaning. But anyway, so is there no doctrine of original sin in Methodism? Or is this really more of a? No, this is what we do here. And if they're not happy with this, they can try to fire me?

Wendy Hudson 16:29

Well, I can't be fired. That's a whole nother

Seth Price 16:33

fantastic

Wendy Hudson 16:34

kit at the Methodist Methodist Church, in our historic doctrines, yes. JOHN Wesley, again, just kind of founder of our movement 300 years ago, very much adhere to the concept of original sin. And so that is very much present. And you will find your certain Methodists that has that have that as an important part of of who they are. And pastors who really lean into that, I have personally found that to beat people over the head, and to tell them that they are sinful and terrible and far away from God as their original nature is not very persuasive. Or it might it doesn't really stick. folks might hear that, and I certainly did, you know, when I had my again via my Southern Baptist, for a, I was really moved initially by the fear of what would happen to me as a sinful person who might die in a car crash on the way home. And, you know, was my sin so great. And had I not accepted Jesus enough that I would then burn in hell and perish forever. I mean, that was that was, you know, when I was 18, was pretty persuasive, when you're kind of in the midst of all of that turmoil of who you are, and what you understand and who you want to be. But that wasn't, it didn't stick. And it didn't cause me to change my life. And that's what I have found in most people that I've talked to, in my 20 years as a pastor, and especially in the last four years that we've been doing this particular work, that that understanding is not helpful, that it's harmful, that it does not cause people to have an engaging, loving, positive, life changing experience with God.

Seth Price 18:36

Yeah. So when you preach that on a Sunday, or a Tuesday, whatever, whatever the day that ends in day is that you happen to do that, because this is a COVID world. And so you can really you can you can do your church whenever you feel like it was tuning into zoom, when you say that, what is the response not from your people that attend the services with you, but from the community and from the church at large? Because that's a big difference than a lot of the churches that I hear preacher. I went to church a few weeks ago in Texas when I went back home for a week. And I was like, I loved where you were. And then it was beautiful. And you pivoted to something so awful, that he took the Beatitudes and turned it into something about power, which is really impressive. really read the Beatitudes. Well, we read the whole Beatitudes and then we stuck on the very first verse and then we ended up in Revelation and we ended up in a bunch of other places that I was like, well I'm I don't I don't understand how anyway, I was respectful. I didn't say anything and they weren't trying to pick any fights but um but yeah, so what is the response when you preach you know, justice and equality and in the in the community at large that you're in. It's

Wendy Hudson 19:52

fascinating, because I've been in Charleston for 10 years, which is a wonderful gift. Methodist preachers typically move around because The way that our our polity our structure is set up. I liken it to arranged marriages. So every year, like our leaders sit in a like for the states in a big room, and they have a list of all of the Methodist pastors, they have a list of all the churches. And then they essentially like make arranged marriages between the pastors and the churches. And so that happens for one year at a time, which really freaks out people who like hire their pastors and pastors stay for a lifetime. And so usually we stay in a place for anywhere for five years, this kind of has been typical. And so it's unusual that I have been in one city for 10 years. You know, the great gift of that, though, is that I've been in one city for 10 years. So I have a lot of relationships, context connections, my kids going to school to places that I shop to groups that I'm in, I know a ton of people. And not a lot of is, of course, some of these people come to church. But some of those people will never set foot into our church space. Some of those people consider me to be their pastor, even though they've never ever attended one of our formal worship services. Some of those folks will, you know, consider us to be our I get this a lot. If I ever were to go to a church, I would go to yours. And so it has been a very surprising message. This one of beauty. You know, like, walk it we were talking before we started recording about like t shirts, and the T shirt that I'm wearing right now, you know, says trans is beautiful, and we had this whole tagline, you are beautiful, and it's everywhere. Probably my favorite story is when we did pride a couple of years ago, our Charlson pride we had we gave we had the we had, you know, our T shirts, and we had stickers and we have 1000, we still have some 1000 of these koozies that say you are beautiful. And on the day of pride, we attached a rainbow flag to a little card, and twosies and we gave them out. And later on that week, I went into Starbucks, and I was wearing my your beautiful t shirt. And the person who was checking me out was like, Oh my gosh, were you at pri and I was like, Yeah, I was at pri and you're like, I love that shirt. And I was and she's like, Wait, did you have a koozie? I was like, Yeah, she's like, I have that koozie I was like, that's so awesome. And then somebody who was next to her was like, Oh my gosh, really have a koozie I want to wait, but I won't want and I was like, hang on and I ran to my car. opened up my trunk, Barstow had a box of the flags, and the koozies and the stickers, and I brought them into the store. And I gave out a dozen, the koozies and the flags and the little cards like to both folks, baristas who were working into just people who were in the Starbucks and you saw them ever, like, hey, I want one of those. To me, that's one of my favorite stories about this message is that you are beautiful, especially folks, LGBTQ community that, you know, is one of our kind of primary constituencies in our congregation in our community. They have, especially LGBTQ folks, queer folks have spent their entire lives swimming and the cultural message that that you are broken, that there's something wrong with you that this is not right, that you are that people have been told you are ugly, not physical beauty, but just you know, the attribute of being who you are. And this and this message and idea that you are beautiful that because I said because God said, because God made you exactly like that. And God made you in the image of beauty. folks can can hardly believe it.

Seth Price 23:53

Yeah, no, I agree. The most recent thing I've gotten used to saying is just love as a noun, but that is it's pointed at humans. Not necessarily God. Yeah, yeah, it's it's one of my favorite one of my favorite things. been enough weeks. You know what that sound means? 1530 seconds tops. I'm going to be back in just a second. So theologically speaking for you as a person, what did you struggle the most with as you kind of went through training and whatnot, to found a church like two rivers that is a different form of church because most churches have a massive amount of legacy. And it handicaps what they're allowed to do, or, you know, pastors are told, you can officiate a same sex wedding, you can talk about racism, you can talk about white supremacy, you can talk about this But I'm gonna need you to tone it back. If you want me to continue to pay you to be a minister here, like I'm gonna need you to dial it way back. So what, what was the biggest thing for you where you were like, oh man that you struggled with getting into where you're at now.

Wendy Hudson 25:14

I mean, you've hit the nail on the head, one of the great gifts of the year, we started our church, we just celebrated our third birthday in March. So we are we started the whole process about four years ago. And the great gift in that, and we always say is that the only bad habits that we have, we have so much freedom, so much flexibility. One of our things we say all the time is we can do whatever we want. Like, whenever we get stuck on something, we're like, what should we do, we're like, okay, we can do whatever we want. And it's there's a lot of freedom. And then also, whenever we hit a barrier, or an obstacle, we say, this is God's invitation to creativity. So I've been at them, you know, anytime we get pushback, or bump up against something like this is God's invitation to creativity, and we will rejoice. So a way of kind of flipping all that around. And also, the great gift is that the only bad habits we have are the habits that we have started ourselves, and we know what they are. And there's there is a there is a ton of freedom. And in starting something new, probably the most difficult habit that I had to overcome was language. Because I grew up in a mainline church. I have been a Christian from the moment of my conception, you know, essentially I was raised in a very loving Christian household. I never had a crisis of faith as such. I have some I've had my moments of like doubt and wondering but never, but those have always been springboard moments and never had like cratering moment of that. I was seminary trained. I spent 14 years in established churches. So my all of my language was so churchy. So churchy. So churchy. That was you. That's all I've done pretty much as an adult. And very quickly realized when we're starting to rivers, that the folks that we wanted to connect with were people who did not go to church. They were people who had either been harmed by church who had said, I'm never setting foot back in church, again, who had never been to church as an adult, who never had any connection to God that they wanted to pursue. We believe that God's always been connected to people. We don't choose that God's primary way of being his connection with us. We choose whether we interact with that or not. But the biggest thing was having to do church to find my language. And so the first year that we worship together to folks and I, we would sit after every after every single worship service, everything that we wrote everything that we spoke, and we would evaluate every single word that we said, every single transition, every single illustration, every single image every I mean, and say, okay, don't say this, say this. Instead, you need to define this. Not that you need to end it, I had to learn a whole new vocabulary. And it's wonderful. And it was hard work. But it's how, if there are any pastor, people listening out there, really listen to what you say, the best thing you can do is find somebody who is not a Christian, and not a church, and let them listen to what you say. And then have them give you honest feedback about it. And 90% of time, they'll be like, I really had no idea what you're talking about.

Seth Price 28:32

This isn't a fair question. But since you're, you know, I love a minute center a minister, I figured why not? So what is the church's responsibility with what is currently happening with the refugees that we've created over two decades in Afghanistan? And I say we've created very intentionally for the same reason that Where's refugees from? The southern portions of North American in the northern regions of the South American continent? Because, you know, we got to make money down there. And we're America's to deal with it. Yeah, but that's a different topic, but very similar. What is the church's role and responsibility in the world that we currently sit in as it relates to that?

Wendy Hudson 29:10

I mean, we, we are a people as Jesus followers, we are people who have, you know, hitched our wagon to a political refugee. I mean, so it's like we that that is your Jesus and his parents, you know, fled to Egypt, fleeing for their life from a despotic ruler, who is seeking out to kill them. I mean, they're like they lived in Egypt as a refugee, until they returned until they returned back. So we, the plight of refugees is also our plight, and the connection that we have to folks who are fleeing for safety is the story of the person who we claim to follow in as the Savior of the world. And so in them, we very much see Jesus, because their story is the story of Jesus. And so I think we both have a level of responsibility for creating safety and welcome and asylum and shelter. You know, as folks arrive here, that's very, very important. And then also, I think we can't advocate as well, we can't abdicate our responsibility to speak loudly and clearly on behalf of justice. And creating responsibilities and possibilities for more folks to come for more folks to be allowed in. One of our folks has just recently traveled to the southern US border, the, in Texas, New Mexico, US border, to spend time in some of the refugee and asylum seeking communities there. And it's a story that's not talked about, I think, outside of Texas border communities, or, you know, there's like United States, southern border communities. I mean, I consider myself pretty dialed in to the state of the world, and the things that she shared her experiences, but she saw, I had no I, you know, I just had no idea. And it broke my heart. And the hard thing is, I can only, I can only carry too closely. So many heartbreaking things. Because then I won't be able to get up off the floor. And I think that's a tough part about being a follower of Jesus in the world today is we see Jesus to me the most clearly in those who are suffering. And to be so closely tied we have there's the whole world of suffering. We know we are suffering, and bearing the weight of that and trying to discern Where do I as an individual, where do we as a community? Where do we as a church, like place? Our efforts and energy with those who are suffering? is really hard?

Seth Price 32:15

Yeah, I had an argument with someone the other day that I don't know on the internet, because that's what the world is

Wendy Hudson 32:21

about, to argue in person anymore?

Seth Price 32:24

Well, I don't I don't actually argue with people in person, I really only argue with them on the internet, mostly because I think I have time to choose my words. And then and then, but in person, I don't have that time. And there's no empathy on the internet. You know what I mean? It's just a different. I don't know, I really should probably just delete all the social media, all of it, but I won't, because that's the world that we live in, and can be used for good. Yeah, but it's still, what's the word? It takes a lot of work to do so because you just can't read the comments. He just got to put what you want to put it there and then leave? Definitely. Yeah, and I don't read the comments for the show, which is probably for the best, but that's okay. So now we got an argument about, you know, rescuing refugees, and they were saying, you know, we should only be rescuing the Christians that are there because that's, I was like, ridiculous. You're ridiculous.

Wendy Hudson 33:12

Do you know that Jesus wasn't a Christian? Right, right.

Seth Price 33:16

Yeah. Do you also know that the Syriac he, I'm sure he doesn't, but without Syriac Muslims, like there would be no Christianity today. Because they sheltered and house them, and vice versa. Like, there's a massive shared brotherhood there of love. And somehow we forgot that that exists. But for those listening, you should read the work event sponsor, if you want to dig into that and fall down that rabbit hole and, and learn something new. I've heard it said by a couple ministers that being a pastor in today's church is like managing long term hospice care. Do you agree with that, and hospice care for like the entity of the church? And so as you know, new reports roll in church memberships roll in and things seem to never really systematically smell my gosh, systemically, systematically. I don't know which word will edit the right one and change. Do you feel as though that's accurate in your experience?

Wendy Hudson 34:17

I mean, I'm, you know, now unfortunate is that I'm I'm on the midwife and

Seth Price 34:22

you're birthing something new. Exactly, exactly.

Wendy Hudson 34:25

Which there is, I do, I have always said like for my whole ministry, and for the last 20 years, and even more so now. We can't say post COVID in this whatever, I don't know if there will ever be a post, but and whatever portion of COVID that you know, the world exists and this is the best time to be a follower of Jesus. This is the best time to be, in my in my opinion to be a pastor. Because there are so many The folks who are not connected to Jesus, and I think is wonderful. Most of our most of my colleagues and peers, unfortunately, live and serve and work in those hospice connections, but almost the worst kind, where people don't realize that they're dying. And so instead of embracing the end of life, and all the possibilities that come with that, like I had a, I had a guy one of my last churches who had a single his whole life had had tuberculosis when he was in his 20s. I like spent nine months in his tuberculosis sanatorium, I like like back in the day, oh, man, I'm single his whole life. Never thought he would live past 50. And here, he was, like 70 and who is diagnosed with a very aggressive type of cancer. So he was like, I've lived way longer than I ever thought I was. And they were like, We can like these are the treatments, surgery, radiation, chemotherapy, you won't be able to eat that. And he was like, Are you kidding? He's like, no, like Oregon hospice. He's like, I never thought I'd lived this long. Bring on hospice, do the thing. Buddy. I have never seen somebody in bridge he used every single bit of the hospice care that was offered to him. He had the music therapists come he had the health care workers come, he had nurses come, he had volunteers calm, he had the chaplain, I mean, like, every day, and he lived for six months, his quality of life, those last six months, were honestly far better than they were in the last 20 years of his life. He was like, I'm gonna you're gonna give me hospice, fantastic. I mean, he was both feet in. And I've never seen someone with a more joyful end of life is so full of meaning and care and hope and people surrounding him. And people like living out the folks hospice living out their gifts in his life, and he was able to facilitate that in this really incredible way. And so at his funeral, like the hot the music therapist, or the music hospice worker came and sang the song that they had written together, I mean, he was just wonderful. Because he knew that death was part of life, and that death was not an end. for him. He was very faithful follower of Jesus. For him, death was not an end, it was not something to be feared. Instead, it was just a transition point to something incredible. We, as the institutional church, are not faithful and our understanding of death, I can always fixed in the eye for the United Methodist denomination. I see this all the time. We live in nothing but fear and panic and anxiety, and oh my god, we're gonna die. And I'm like, Are you kidding? Death is fantastic. Because without death, you don't get new life. You don't get I mean, we are a resurrection people. We believe that the best comes after death. So why are we so afraid of it? You know, I think if we as a denominational entity, as a church in America could live the way that Mr. Jackie lived, that we could embrace the end of our life, we could see that they're all the gifts in it, and we could prepare for what comes next. Imagine what our churches would be like, if we were like, we're gonna give up all of ourselves. For the sake of people who've never heard of Jesus, we've never connected with Jesus, and we're gonna give all of our resources, all of our people resources, all of our past, you know, we're gonna release our pastors to go spend all their life with people who are on the birthing end, we're going to take care of each other because we know how to do that. And we're going to set ourselves up for life after death.

Seth Price 38:48

So yeah, no, we don't faithful, is not faithful, I want to I want to lean into that midwife metaphor because I like it. And then the first thought that I had is if if ministers and reverence or whatever pastors are acting in the role of the midwife, who should be acting in the role of doula because from what I understand that that midwife is like, right up until we go, and then I've got to go to the next birth, like I'm, I'm, I'm qualified to do this. And then the doula kind of sticks with you emotionally postpartum and helps to emotionally prepare the family and yourself and so who should be acting in that role?

Wendy Hudson 39:26

I mean, I think that is the role of the community. The role of the community is to midwife and it's to midwife and doula each other and more out into the world. And so one thing that we really adopted at two rivers is you know, is we have a really flat structure, you know, a really flat leadership structure. I'm the lead pastor, but, but we function very flat. We don't function hierarchically at all and We believe that every person in our community has gifts that are necessary, needed valid and equal for the building of the community. And so, you know, one person's gift is not my gift, as you know, the pastor, the kind of the the leader, the one who can, like keeps us going, setting a direction, I am only able to do that though, because everybody else is sharing their gifts, listening to other people, helping teach children to read of developing spiritual formation in our children of showing up on a Sunday, setting up of chairs back when we did that thing of popping on to Facebook and engaging the comments, you know, of giving their money of saying I had this relationship that I'd like to nurture, like Steven here, Stephens gift of introducing the two of us like that's it, you know? So all of those gifts are equally valid. One is not higher, or more important than the other. And in that way, we're all midwifing. And we're all serving as a doula at the same time.

Seth Price 41:06

No, I like that. So two questions left, and then I'm gonna run to work, I'm gonna let you probably get back to work. What do you feel like churches need to be saying at church just to be passive aggressive with the, with the name of the show? Not necessarily the ministers of the church, but what should people feel enabled? And maybe you think necessary needs to be discussed in the coming years? And if not, it was it's going to be detrimental to the to the church as a whole big c church,

Wendy Hudson 41:33

I will adjust American Christianity because that's a context and what I know. And so I would say, anti racism and white supremacy, we, especially those of us who are white and white churches, that has to be that has to be has to be up there. LGBTQ inclusion, full inclusion, you know, for me, obviously, that's part of who we are, has to be there. And then also anti imperialism and anti colonialism. And you we we talk a lot about intersectionality you know, we live at intersections, you know, well one of our things also is like pride is always intersectional and it's all it's all of that you can't you can't split out those things because people show up in the space in all of their identities. We don't make people show up only as one identity people show up all their identities. And so as the American church if we are going to have any I hate to use a relevancy but I'm going to use it if we're gonna have any relevancy to the folks who live in the United States these days. We have to talk about those things because that is people's lived experience and it is foolish of us to pretend like it doesn't exist

Seth Price 42:43

so for you as a person when you try to wrap words around what God is Oh, what is that?

Wendy Hudson 42:52

Um when I use the centering, practice the centering prayer which is usually pick like one word that you then like repeat or focus on or create and I mean it sounds I even hate to say it It sounds so hokey to say to say love, but not most but not like so far deeper then like nothing Hallmark related, but it's like it's the love that a parent has for a child that a lover has for another lover in that first blush deepness You know, when you're first having that warm relationship love it that defies definition and categorization and description even. I'd say that

Seth Price 43:53

love it, love it. Those that's my favorite question of every single one of these I started like two years ago. It is it is my favorite question. I don't know why. I often get more out of the answers of those. Yes, this the entire episode. Normally we you know, we have a book that we're directing people to so but we don't have any of that. And so when people listen to this, and at the end, they're like, Well, I know I need to I need to say stuff about this I need to do something or I feel I feel led to try to do X, Y or Z where should they go to try to begin to plug into things that you feel like matter.

Wendy Hudson 44:29

Yeah, you can connect with me. I'm Rev. Wendy Hudson on all social media. So follow me connect with me check in with me there. And then we are also to river ch s so t who are IVR sdhs on all social media and that's also our website to oversee just that orgy. Come and find us and you too can have your own You are beautiful. Jesus is a feminist t shirt. You can shop our store.

Seth Price 45:01

How to work or fanny pack. Or Pfizer. Fanny pack.

Wendy Hudson 45:05

We got it all. Our creative director is super great. Oh, fanny

Seth Price 45:09

pack. So my wife wore a fanny pack. I feel like they did something for my wife's a pediatric nurse and they did something for the kids. And she had to have a fanny pack in it is the 80s la gear. Best oh my gosh, she put it on. I was like, I don't I get why you're doing it. But I don't. I don't want to know you today. I don't, I can't do the fanny pack leave the house separately. And now my daughter has a fanny pack. And I'm just I'm not happy about any of it. I don't know. I don't know about that. Steve, don't get any ideas. Anyway. Wendy, thank you so much for coming on and for your time this morning.

Unknown 45:49

Fantastic. Thank

Wendy Hudson 45:50

you so much.

Seth Price 45:51

You're welcome. Now, I haven't added it up. But there are hundreds of 1000s, if not millions of podcasts on the internet. And I am humbled that you continue to download this one. This is your first time here. Please know that there are transcripts of these shows. Not always in real time, but I do my best. And if you go back in the logs, you can find transcripts for pretty much any episode that you'd like the show is recorded and edited by me, but it is produced by the patron supporters of the show. That is one of the best if not the best way that you can support the show. If you get anything at all out of these episodes, if you think on them, or if you you know you're out and about and you tell your friends about it or Hey, Mom, Dad, brother, sister, friend, boss, Pastor, here's what I heard, what are your thoughts on that? If this is helping you in any way, and it is helping me consider supporting the show in that manner. It is extremely inexpensive. But collectively, it is so very much helpful. I am thankful that our world has voices like Julie's in it, and countless others. They're a beacon of hope and light. Now for you, I pray that you are blessed and you know that you're cherished and beloved. We'll talk soon

Outlove, Faith, and Chosen Family with Julie Rodgers / Transcript

Note: Can I Say This at Church is produced for audio listening. If able, I strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which has inflection, emotion, sarcasm where applicable, and emphasis for points that may not come across well in written word. This transcript is generated using a combination of my ears and software, and may contain errors. Please check the episode for clarity before quoting in print.

Back to the Audio Episode


Julie Rodgers 0:00

I don't really think it matters why we are the way we are. Like did God intended for people to be born gay or was that the product of like very early childhood parenting, it doesn't really matter. By the time that we're 11 years old and realize our bodies are tingling around people the same sex, it doesn't really matter how we got there. What's true is that it cannot be changed. And that it is fundamentally harmful and damaging to be told that the way that you give and receive love and experience intimacy is wrong and sinful and bad, and that you have to suppress it and say no every single time throughout your life that you feel a desire to hold hands with someone, to kiss someone, to snuggle with someone to build a life with someone. And so, to me, it's just the “born this way” question is just really beside the point.

Seth Price 1:19

What is going on there you? Yeah, you! Eith the EarPods in listening to the show. Welcome back. I'm Seth, I'm happy that you're here. Quick, brief announcement, I have added maybe two or three new designs into the store for the show. If you want to head over to the website at CanISayThisatChurch.com check those out. I'm happy with them. My daughters are happy with them. And they both want one. My son's happy with it. So I feel like I've hit a good demographic there. So yeah, make that happen. I mean, you have to wear clothes anyway. Right? Like, you may as well have on some Can I Say This At Church. So today, or tonight, whenever you happen to be listening, I have Julie Rodgers on the show. Her story is, I guess, known. She has been involved in many ministries and organizations etc. Most recently was involved, or featured or had her story touched on in the documentary on Netflix called Pray Away, which I will say is a good, good use of your time. But more importantly, she wrote a book and it is…it is a rough book to read through. I found myself putting it down multiple times. I've read it more than once. It um…it is…what's the word I'm looking for? It's um, sobering.

So Julie weaves a story that is a like a clarion call for so many people that are just ambiguous about their thoughts and don't use their brain to support and love people that they live in community with. And it's a memoir about love, and hurt, and loss, and hope. And it is wonderful. I'm not doing it justice. Now, I will say in the show, we do not dive specifically into detail(s) on the book. And you'll hear kind of why as you listen through on the show. However, I don't want to wait any longer. And so here we go roll the tape with Julie Rodgers.

Seth Price 4:03

Julie Rogers, I think I've been trying to find a way to connect with you for about four months. And most of that's my fault, not yours. I went on vacation and I jettisoned the podcast life for three months on summer break. Because I'm a dad. And you know, you got to do what you got to do. But I am very excited to talk to you tonight. I read your book actually two times. I read it on the way to Texas to visit my mom a few weeks ago, because I had a four hour layover in Houston twice, once to Midland and once back.

Julie Rodgers 4:33

Whoa! Whoa!

Seth Price 4:35

So that was fun. But it gave me time to do some other things. I had intended to edit a couple episodes of the podcast and forgot my hard drive. So that didn't happen. So, a reread of your text was up for order, but I'm glad that you're here. Welcome.

Julie Rodgers 4:47

Thank you Seth. It's really great to be here. And I'm from Texas. So I guess we share some roots there.

Seth Price 4:54

We do. So I'm from Midland, Texas, which is way west of Tomball I think it's Tomball. Yeah, that's it right? Yeah which I feel like is outside of Houston.

Julie Rodgers 5:02

Right? It is. It was Tomball and then the Dallas area but I’ve been to Midland.

Seth Price 5:06

Yeah. So my brother lives my brother and sister live right in Denton area up in Dallas now. And for those of you listening that have no idea how big Texas is so Tomball to Midland is like nine hours.

Julie Rodgers 5:20

Yeah, you can get to Denver, Colorado like quicker than Midland from Dallas.

Seth Price 5:26

it's a big, it's a big state. So anyway, Google it. I'll put a thing in the transcript. You can just click it here. And anyway, it happened. So when you want to tell people what and who you are, like, how do you describe yourself?

Julie Rodgers 5:39

Oh, I would say I am Julie. I am a cat mom. (Seth gufahs) I am a writer. Oh! You made a face!

Seth Price 5:49

I'm allergic….so…

Julie Rodgers 5:53

Ohhhh…wow! The universe was not kind to you. So I have two cats. Prince and Toby. I am a writer. And I wrote a book about my experience growing up gay in evangelical communities. And I am a closet crossfitter. I love working out and I love…

Seth Price 6:13

You said closet crossfitter? Isn’t that an oxymoron. Like every crossfitter I've ever met...

Julie Rodgers 6:19

Well I don’t talk about that very often (smiles) I just felt led to share that with you. (Seth laughs) And I don't admit it because of the way people are so enthusiastic about it.. But here I am sharing this with you. And I just love I love working out and I love communities and it's fun to do all that together. Just a few things about me.

Seth Price 6:37

Yeah, yeah, I'm a Miniature Dachshund person. And I don't mind looking at cats. I'm happy that they're outside. My mom has a cat. I just I can't breathe around cats. And so I prefer oxygen over felines, though, I'm glad that you, I'm glad that you like the cats. Anyway.

So I have kind of a running theme. Anytime I talk to someone from Texas. And it's important to me, almost as important as football, or, or God, you've travelled quite a bit. And as people should buy your book, and honestly, they should buy the book. We'll talk about that in a bit. But you travel quite a bit. And so I have to feel that you have had the ability to choose In and Out Burger or What-a-Burger in your travels. And I just need to know, which is better. But I only ask people from Texas because everyone else's opinion just holds less less weight.

Julie Rodgers 7:29

I feel like I would only choose…I would choose What-a-burger. I would say In and Out is just overrated. Like, What-a-burger is, is good, it's fine. But also so is In and Out. And because In and Out is so like widely acclaimed and falls so far short. I just feel like I would rather go for the underdog.

Seth Price 7:53

(Chuckles)

I can tell you so I went back and I had a little bit when I was there a few weeks ago. And when you don't have it for 15 years, there's some nostalgia that makes the flavor really pump up. Even in the airport in Houston, you know, you get that, anyway, has nothing to do with anything. I know that you did not come on here to talk about that. But it has become a thing. Only one guest has gotten a little bit hateful about it. And that's okay, cuz I left it in the edit. He knows who he is. (Coughs* Looking at you Prop!) We're not gonna play games with that.

So the questions about your book, so the book is Outlove: A Queer Christian Survival Story. And even that, I kind of wanted to start there. So let me just say, firstly, that I'm actually fairly nervous to have this conversation because your story is extremely honest. A lot of people will talk about the theology of LGBTQ stuff. And they'll talk about this and talk about that. And so like they talk around it. But outside of I'm assuming changed names, like these are really personal stories in your book. And so why does it exist? Like, that's a lot to put yourself out there like that in text that will be available a lot longer than things on the Google if you know how to search like so. So why?

Julie Rodgers 9:08

So I, my mom took me to an ex-gay organization when I came out at 16. I was a part of those communities for almost 10 years. And then I was a part of like the celibate, sort of, gay community for several years after that. So really, from the age of 16 until 30, I was entrenched and queer Christian communities where they weren't, like, allowed to really be gay. And like, they weren't fully affirmed. And they were told that who they were intrinsically their desires, their love, the way in which they're wired to give and receive love that all of that was wrong and bad and sinful and that they were broken. So I saw for 14 years, the most like formative years of my life, the damage that caused and how it led so many people I love to other self loathing and self hatred. And I felt like I wanted people to understand. I wanted people to see. I felt like surely if Christians just knew if they understood they wouldn't continue teaching and believing this. And so I thought by telling my own story, and just giving a window into what I've seen, that it might move people to see the humanity of a lot of other people that I know and love.

Seth Price 10:33

What has been since the book released and you'll have to forgive me, I honestly can't remember when it released, what has kind of been the feedback from people, as they've read it.

Julie Rodgers 10:44

Surprisingly positive. II've heard a lot of people say, I'm asking different questions. Now. This is really powerful and moving. And I'm asking new questions, which is about the best thing I could hope for from people who might see things differently than me. And a lot of people say they feel less alone, that they. whether they're queer or not, they really resonated with an experience of feeling different or asking questions that made them feel like alienated from their faith communities. And the most moving thing is to hear from other queer people in conservative Christian communities who are saying like, for the first time, I feel like a sense of hope and a sense of possibility for a positive future. And I hadn't been able to imagine that before.

Seth Price 11:31

Yeah, at the very beginning, like literally, I think it's like page two, it's not, it's page four. I've underlined this a couple times, actually in two different pens, so I must have underlined it both times. So you write in here, and I'd like you to just break apart what you mean, when you say “good”, and kind of how that has been culturally co-opted by, I guess, evangelicalism. But there's probably a lot of words that you could put there. So you're talking about, you know,

…where I come from good kids aren't gay. And all I wanted was to be good.

So what do you mean, good?

Julie Rodgers 12:07

I wanted to be somebody who made my parents proud. Who…the people, you know, at church potlucks, thought was somebody worthy of acceptance and approval. And I wanted the approval of the leaders in my community, the pastors, the teachers, and I wanted…I wanted to be….I wanted them to be proud of me. Not just tolerate me.

Seth Price 12:42

I read that. And I feel like that sentence works for so many things outside of even sexuality. Maybe that's why I underlined that a couple times, even though it's in a book related to that, like because I read that, and I am not gay in any way, shape, or form. But I also have those same longings of you know, I don't know, but I know how Texas church culture is. And so I know the expectation of people, just humans of here's what you do, shoot, or in fact, when I went to visit recently, a Sunday school teacher asked me what my thoughts were on critical race theory because I must live close to Loudon County here in Virginia. And I was like it is…. “First off, my name is Seth. It's fantastic to meet you. I understand you know my mom. And I don't believe that I live in Loudon County.” So you know, I mean, but “good” has expectations for sexuality, for political views, for the way that you know, for everything.

Julie Rodgers 13:38

Yeah, this gets into an interesting point too, around identity in Christ, one of the biggest challenges I've gotten by being openly gay in the church, as people will say, “Well, why are you placing your identity in your sexuality? Why aren't you finding your identity in Christ?”

And it's a really bizarre thing. And at first you're like, Okay, well, what is an identity in Christ? Because like, straight people aren't told they're finding their identity and their sexuality when they say they're straight. So clearly it doesn't just mean that and then the more I started thinking of it, the more I realized that…I was at The Viillage Church one time this big, sort of like, hip mega church in Dallas. And there was a video where a guy, a black member of The Village was talking about sort of like Black Lives Matter. And he was saying, you know, he was talking to some degree about like, racial injustice. But he said, you know, “the most important thing isn’t that I’m black it's that I am a Christian, I'm a son of God, and I am finding my identity in Christ before being black.”

And I just thought like, this is interesting! Like, why is it just in these communities (that)…why is this seen as separate and it feels like only like, queer folks or black folks or people…only serve kinds of people have to separate those out and rank them. And I just don't hear somebody like Matt Chandler say that he doesn't find his identity. You know, like he gets to say he's straight and white and not find his identity in that, it's weird!

Seth Price 15:16

Yeah. I used to listen to a lot of Matt Chandler quite a bit. And as the years have gone, so, again, we don't, we referenced earlier, we don't really know each other at all. So I went to Liberty after leaving Texas.

Julie Rodgers 15:30

Whoa!!

Seth Price 15:32

And then yeah, so there we go. I don't think I could go back to Liberty. In fact I encourage everyone that I speak too to not study theology at Liberty, if you can. But yeah, anyway, so yeah, I get that. And I can remember, there's a few distinct sermons. And I realized one week, maybe six or seven years ago, I just liked the way that he preached, but not what he was preaching, like, the cadence, the delivery. And yeah, anyway, so I do have a question. It's not ultimately very serious. But I've never heard anybody describe a job this way. And so you were talking about where is this at, so we're in chapter eight, talking about getting with an organization called Q. And you say in here, talking about the men there, they have successful companies, they have influences like the evangelical elite. So I guess for some context, like we'll call it like Charlie Kirk, and, you know, the people like that today.

But you say that in the past, you'd never made more than $40,000 in a year and all your jobs had allowed you to wear jeans and a T-shirt, which I really like because I have to wear a suit every day for work. I work at a bank. But I'm curious if that is an interview thing for you just just for some levity there? Like jeans and a T-shirt is that a deal breaker for a position?

Julie Rodgers 16:46

Um…………

Seth Price 16:49

I like how serious you are considering this question. (Laughs)

Julie Rodgers 16:51

I was just thinking about what I was talking about where I was when I wrote that. And I think like I had been in Christian ministry, I worked in the nonprofit with high school students. And before that I was in this food service industry. And it was just interesting to me. This sort of like, class difference I felt, if I can say that in evangelicalism, it was like, Oh, I'm with the spiritual leaders. But I was also with a certain kind of like, elite when I entered into that scene. A certain like, assumption of like, money and power and how you present yourself. And it was just interesting to note, because it wasn't necessarily about just about spirituality, or religion, it was about lots of other things.

Seth Price 17:33

That's not an organization that I'm very familiar with. Does it still exist? I didn't Google it. I have no idea.

Julie Rodgers 17:38

Yeah, actually they get really prominent speakers every year. So like, people like Lecrae, or…

Seth Price 17:46

Is it like Ted, but for Christians?

Julie Rodgers 17:49

Yeah. It's Ted, for Christians. Yeah. Yeah.

Seth Price 17:53

I don't know how I feel about that. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I wonder if you could speak a bit on, for those listening, because I get emails and questions from many people, predominantly, because I am overtly inclusive in almost everything, and even with close friends and family. And I have a constant argument about the way that people are created. You know, this, that and the other. And I'm curious if you could speak a bit for people that are questioning that as well but my church tells me this, my pastor tells me this, that I there's no way I could have been born this way, there's no way that X, Y or Z could happen. That's just not the way that that creation works. I'm curious if you could say anything about that.

Julie Rodgers 18:35

I don't really think it matters why we are the way we are. Like did God intended for people to be born gay or was that the product of like very early childhood parenting, it doesn't really matter. By the time that we're 11 years old and realize our bodies are tingling around people the same sex, it doesn't really matter how we got there. What's true is that it cannot be changed. And that it is fundamentally harmful and damaging to be told that the way that you give and receive love and experience intimacy is wrong and sinful and bad, and that you have to suppress it and say no every single time throughout your life that you feel a desire to hold hands with someone, to kiss someone, to snuggle with someone to build a life with someone. And so, to me, it's just the “born this way” question is just really beside the point.

It’s like how do we thrive now that we are here; and what leads to healthy outcomes and what leads to harm?

Seth Price 19:38

Yeah, in your opinion, having conversations with people, what is a more effective approach to have an honest conversation with no intent to sway someone one way or another? Because I don't think you can. I honestly think, and I feel like I read this somewhere, that if you try to force people to your viewpoint you just further entrench them in their own. And so what is the best way for people on both sides or even in the middle of the aisle to figure out how to have conversations about sexuality and theology and everything else kind of going forward in a way that maybe is productive?

Julie Rodgers 20:14

I think it's important to look at the fruit of your beliefs in the real world. And so we know that youth who are subjected to teaching that says they need to deny their queerness, and seek to become straight, are twice as likely to have attempted suicide and this last year than those who weren't. So that's a very clear direct correlation. And I think we can look at Jesus and we can look at the scriptures and see that Jesus broke some of the rules in the Bible in the name of honoring the dignity and humanity of human beings who were in front of himself. Whether that was moving toward women toward lepers were people who were seen as scandalous and unclean and saying you are wanted, and you're beautiful, and I delight in you. And I think that's a really important model for people to sit with and to say, should I value the words written down in a book 2000 years ago that there are endless, truly infinite, ways to interpret in endless different ways, or the human being before me, especially when there's clear correlation between mental health outcomes for a vulnerable population, and teaching about their humanity and dignity?

Seth Price 21:41

Yeah, I want to talk a bit about your time at Wheaton College. And the reason being is and I wrote it on a couple pages. And I don't want to lambast Wheaton College, I know very little about Wheaton College, except for Dr Jjohn Walton, who I find is a brilliant person in his field. That's all I know, about Wheaton College. And I feel like they're also the college that had the issue with the professor wearing a hijab, that now works for UVA. So I'm fine with that (as) she's closer here. And, you know, I'm glad that she's here. Because that benefits the community that I live in. It just feels like as I've read through the bulk of the book, that there is just an underlying theme of manipulation of your story, and people like you, from every level at all times. Is that fair?

Julie Rodgers 22:27

It felt that way. It felt like there were some people who really wanted to support me and LGBTQ people, and they wanted to be kinder and more loving. And when push came to shove, if they had to choose between managing their image, or a narrative or sort of the conversation around theology and ethics, if that came down to choosing that, or just loving and supporting me and other queer people, they continually chose their own sort of agenda, for lack of a better word.

Seth Price 23:03

Yeah, outside of and I, the reason I'm trying to ask questions in a different way, is, from what I gather, you get asked the same question 97 times on all these podcasts? And I'm not interested in that. Because honestly, a lot of those questions are answered in the book, and people should buy the text and read it, because the answers that you give her in brief. So I'm trying to be intentional with the questions that I asked.

Julie Rodgers 23:27

Thats generous. Thank you!

Seth Price 23:31

Well, I don't know. Anyway, it makes things a little bit more difficult. I am trying to figure out the best way to ask this question. So you have a line in here. And it talks about where is that? So you're talking about the end of Wheaton, I believe. And there's a line at the end? Where you say how do you prepare?

How do you prepare yourself for the end of the only life that you've ever known?

Which again, is another sentence that I think deeply hits at a lot of people as their views on life and marriage and family and politics and Afghanistan or their sexuality or whatever that is, you've had a lifetime of experiences that many people don't experience? Can you rip that apart a bit? Like how does one begin to prepare themselves for living on a different planet, metaphorically speaking?

Julie Rodgers 24:32

For one, I think it's a really long process. And I think it's important to start building up a community elsewhere, even if that's only one or two people who you know are going to be in it like with you and for you on the other side of that declaration you're gonna make. And I think it's important to know that you will survive and you'll actually thrive. Like you're making a decision to save your life in many ways, because you were finding that you couldn't breathe in the community or worldview that you had before.

And to know there are people that you've never met before, who you're going to grow to love. And there are places you've never been, that are going to totally capture your heart. And there's a sense of freedom and possibility that you won't be able to taste or tap into until you sort of take the plunge. And I think you have to rest in knowing that's true, even if it is going to get a lot harder for a period and you are going to feel a lot of loneliness for a period, and sort of existential dread. It doesn't last forever and there's more beauty on the other side of it, of being able to live more authentically and in a more integrated way.

Seth Price 25:56

Yeah, no, I would agree with that. wholeheartedly. That, to me, is among my favorite lines in the entire book. It's, um, I don't know, I don't know why.

I wonder if you could give a bit more context to how you begin chapter 18. And so you say that you have

a growing awareness of the way that conservative Christians had grossly misrepresented queer people,

and how that coincides with Donald Trump's rise to power and not overly concerned with Donald Trump. I'm more concerned with the misrepresentation of queer people. And maybe beginning with a definition of that to begin with, because that's a word that gets thrown around a bit. And I'll admit my ignorance with a lot of that, but what what is that misrepresentation? How does it relate to politics and Empire? Like, where and how is that?

Julie Rodgers 26:48

The misrepresentation, I found that white evangelicals in particular really honed in on issues like same sex relationships, LGBTQ issues, and abortion, to create a sense of fear in their followers. And it seemed it was to sort of mobilize them to rally behind, like a Republican political agenda. Because like, if you read the Bible, you're gonna see that it seems like a lot of the men are kind of sleeping with like, everyone. They're having so much sex. (Seth laughs) And God seems to be much more alarmed with money and with abuse of power and with, like, greed. And so there's just, and these leaders embody that like, especially, you know, looking at Trump and some of the like Jerry Falwell's, they truly embody, like the seven deadly sins, all of them.

And it's just breathtaking that vulnerable people are scapegoated for things that the Bible doesn't, in any way, prioritize as most significant. So I can't help but feel like there's… and I don't think it's the people in the pews that are making this decision or this negotiation and that they're just like, bad and don't like gay people. I think that it starts with people that have an agenda, kind of like the intelligentsia, the leaders, and then it trickles on down to pastors who are preaching this in the churches, and they're twisting scripture. They're like, weaving in Scripture to go with it. So then people like my mom are like, “Oh, I guess gay people are the most disgusting people on the face of the earth. And actually, the way to love Julie is to just like, outright reject her”. She didn't just wake up and decide that was the most loving and kind thing to do to the daughter that she loved more than anyone else in the world. She believed that because of James Dobson and Jerry Falwell and the trickle down effect of that to her community,

Seth Price 29:07

And for those that listen to this show for some time, I have some episodes on those texts. That is an awful way to read Scripture, not just for sexuality but it's just an awful way to read any holy text, but specifically, ours.

It’s been enough weeks, you know what that sound means. 15-30 seconds tops. I'm going to be back in just a second.

Seth Price 29:42

What does someone do that hears that? And they're like, yeah, I need to talk about that and push my church or talk to my pastor or my elders or my deacons. How do you do so respectfully, without causing the 91st or 90th I think you say there's 90,000 something denominations? How do I make it not 90,001 because we're spinning off again, we're doing the thing, or without just exploding the local church body? Because that community is is valuable has purpose.

Julie Rodgers 30:11

I think that's where stories come in handy. It's one of the reasons I wrote this book. Sharing the stories of the actual human beings we're talking about feels really important as a starting place for pastoral care. And I think if there are LGBTQ people who are open in the community like bringing them in and listen to their voices, and like genuinely consulting them to say, like, how do you experience this community? And like, are there ways that you feel like you wish you were supported or plugged in that you don't have access to? And chances are, there's not many openly gay people in those communities, in which case, like reading books like mine, or blogs, and actually just seeking out our experiences and stories, I think is a good inroad to deeper conversations and bigger conversations. Because nobody's heart is changed by like, suddenly reading Romans 1 again, and then like (light bulb). Like, it's just, it's just not how this works. So yeah, I think you need to actually enter into relationships with the people.

Seth Price 31:20

Do you think that that's going to, and this is just not sarcastic or tongue in cheek? Do you honestly feel as though that will happen? Like in the coming? So I mean, my oldest is 12. Like, is that a thing that's gonna happen before he's 30 or is the church just gonna continue to wither away because it refuses to have those conversations?

Julie Rodgers 31:38

So this is why I think that experiences and relationships are so important. I found with like, students at Wheaton, straight students were much more inclined to be open to fully affirming LGBTQ people, because there were openly LGBTQ people in their circles. And so they were like, wow, like, you know, Jimmy is my friend. And I know he's a good guy. And he seems healthier and happier when he's around people who just tell him that God loves him, and that God delights and the way he is and the way he gives and receive love. And so they were just more inclined to be like affirming and supportive.

And I found a lot of people like that were a part of my circles for like, a long, long time have been able to move with me as they've watched me and just sort of seen my story unfold. So I think there's always going to be a contingent of people who, you know, believe that women need to submit in the house and in the church. And, you know, in the same way, there will be people who don't believe that I am as worthy of love as their straight kids. But I think that there will continue to be a lot of people who are moved the more they're exposed to LGBTQ Christians.

Seth Price 33:01

What is your relationship with the church now or organized religion for lack of a better word?

Julie Rodgers 33:07

So I'm a Teaching Fellow at this community, and I love It's my favorite sort of, like, Christian institution kind of thing right now; that I'm a part of. It's called the Faith and Justice Network out of City Church in San Francisco. And it's a nine month long program where people are encountering texts by like, womanist theologians or sociologists talking about sort of like the roots of race and racism in cities in the US. Or reading Barbara Brown Taylor about, you know, like nurturing sort of our spiritual lives with God. And this sort of seeking a more expansive vision of Christian spirituality that isn't reactive and isn't fueled by rage or cynicism-that actually believes that there's something beautiful here and that religion and Christianity can help us become more generous people who are driven by love over fear.

And so I love that community and I go to this Episcopal church often and love sort of the liturgy and the structure and the sense that I can step into something that you know, these prayers have been prayed for over 2000 years. And that I can let it wash over me and sort of carry me in the weeks when I myself don't necessarily believe those words. And I find that over time it’s like produced good fruit and me and I think that matters.

Seth Price 34:53

Yeah, I feel like it's in Barbara's actually her last book. She said something about that, like faith is when your community…like faith is when you can set you aside your doubts and fears and allow your community to carry your faith for you while you rest, recuperate and re-review. I don't mean review and hyphen, re-view what your what your thoughts on God are. And then when you're able, they just give you back the torture you go, we carried this for you. We've got you. We never forgot you. I forget where it is. But it's…it's in one of those texts there.

Julie Rodgers 35:29

That’s really beautiful.

Seth Price 35:31

Yeah, well, it's Barbara. Barbara is freaking amazing. Yes, I see as a way with words. So just a couple other questions. So what do you feel like people, not clergy, not the ministers should be allowed to say in church? And if we don't it will just continue to be hospice care for the pastor's that lead those churches.

Julie Rodgers 35:59

I think people need be allowed to say, hey, the Bible is like a really complicated text. And it definitely, there's so much for us to glean from it. And it's it's truly inspired and important. And we need to value the human beings that are created in God's image that Jesus came to be with; we need to value them more than our interpretations of this ancient text. And to challenge people, when they find that there are beliefs that are causing harm, that are debatable, that are just rooted in bigotry and, you know, might be rooted in bigotry, because this is a text written over 2000 years in a wildly different context.

Seth Price 36:51

How is, and this is probably more of a personal question than you want to answer. And so feel free to not if you don't want to, but throughout the act of writing this book, and reliving and working through those stories and emotions, how has your relationship with God changed from the beginning to the end, from cover to cover?

Julie Rodgers 37:16

I think in the beginning, you know, let's say five years ago, I was really worried about like, “Oh, I might lose my faith,” or “I might miss out on a relationship with God, or what God's doing in the world.” And now I feel like God holds me and God holds the world and faith and holds me and that this is here for me as a resource to grow in love and kindness. And it's not something that's like I'm in or out of it's just something that's always available for me to be nourished by so that I can make the world a little bit of a gentler place than it was yesterday.

Seth Price 38:10

Hmm. I like that. So last question. Um, and then just a couple quick follow up things that have nothing to do with the episode. So when you try to wrap words around God, when you say what that is, what is that?

Julie Rodgers 38:33

I think God is where we come from, what we're here for, the source of love, the source of beauty, the source of light, the source of hope and possibility, the source of breath. And I think God is the generative force in the world that is also the one bringing out, bringing about, like justice and redemption, in a really sad world. And that it's really not so important that we know details about that God as much as it is that we remain receptive to all that God wants seems to want to do and then through us.

Seth Price 39:27

I like that. Were so and I don't even know how to say this. So I have skirted around many of the topics in your book, but people should buy it. I'll link to all that in all the places that you should. And let me so I was gonna say this after I wasn't recording, I'll say it anyway. Normally, I am overtly going at theology. And so there's like a distance between me and the topic, if that makes sense? Because there's like something in between and I don't know if I'm adequately explaining that well. But I feel like questioning someone about stories that are so personal. That's why I'm actually…like, I'm fairly tense. I don't know if you can see it or not. Because I want to handle your, your, you've written them. But still it feels almost as though it's an intrusion. Even though it's published in a book, I don't know if that makes sense at all? So, hopefully, people listening, you should read the book, and you should purchase the book. But where do you want people to go to do the things that they should be doing in the world and on whatever, where do people do things?

Julie Rodgers 40:34

I want people to listen to voices in their life that are, like humble, and who are comfortable with a lot of room for mystery, and who are open to being changed and being moved by the actual, like humans in their lives. And especially when those humans are different from them. And when they're more vulnerable, and when they are kind of somewhere on the margins of our society. And I want them to take joy in that, and to not feel fear. Because we see that God, all throughout Scripture, is continually for people who are sort of like pushed down and pushed out. And so you're actually, even if it feels uncomfortable and scary and you don't know the right lingo, or the right words, it's a really good and holy place to be- entering into relationships with people who have been cast aside or pushed out. And it's a place that creates such a possibility for for new life.

Seth Price 41:44

Mm hmm. And if they want to, so I love that answer. The question I was asking is, where do you want people to go if they want to follow you, buy the book, do the things. But it is a fantastic answer.

Julie Rodgers 41:55

Oh me! I was like how do people be in the world‽

Seth Price 41:59

Yeah, no, like, where do you want people to plug the things that you need to plug I just wanted to give you that, that space, if you'd like to.

Julie Rodgers 42:04

Oh that’s cool. Yeah! I think like anywhere that they if they want to go to my website, Julierodgers.com. They can it links to like my Instagram and Twitter and stuff like that. It's an easy way to keep up with me. It also links to my newsletter, which is where I think I'm doing the most interesting stuff. I get to talk about things that aren't just like my trauma, and sort of like I call it queer reflections on faith, public life, and chosen family. And I just get to sort of imagine all the ways that like, by nature of being in a body like mine in the world, all the ways that's a gift and what is possible to all of us that I only know because I grew up gay.

Seth Price 42:42

I said no more questions, but I lied. What do you mean “chosen family”?

Julie Rodgers 42:47

So my family of origin has mostly, like, rejected me; outright rejected me. And I found that that for so long was like this, this thought that felt like the status thing like I would cease to exist if that happened. But I found that there are all these other people out there, whether it's like friends, or just like sweet old women who come across my work or, you know, former colleagues who have really chosen me and said, like, I'm in this with you, and I'm not going anywhere. And I've chosen them and maybe I'm like a godparent to their kid now, or maybe we spend holidays together, but we're in it. And I found that to be a much more reliable than just like, Oh, you were born and share like this blood relation?

Seth Price 43:39

Yeah, no. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I thought that's where you were going. I just wanted to be sure I get that I have a close group of friends that if we don't speak every day, we speak every day. They're my people. Yeah, yeah. So I get that. 100% get that.

Julie, thank you so much for your time tonight. I have no idea what timezone you're in. But I know that it's late for you either way. So I appreciate your time. And, and yeah, thanks for being here.

Julie Rodgers 44:04

Thank you so much. It's really great chatting stuff, I appreciate it.

Seth Price 44:24

So in Julie's book Outlove, at about the middle, it's actually on page 171. So slightly over the middle. There's a line that has really stuck with me. And I think that it is a good sentence to focus on and thought to center on as we enter into stages of our lives that are stressful and worrying, fearful. And we're told that we're not allowed to be in that stage. We're not allowed to be what we need to be in the time that we live in. And that goes for more than gender and sexuality goes for so many different things. However, the line that Julie has written here is

how do you prepare yourself for the end of the only life you've ever known.

And I have thought about that line weekly, since I read it, and it has stuck with me.

Now, I haven't added it up. But there are hundreds of 1000s, if not millions of podcasts on the internet. And I am humbled that you continue to download this one. If this is your first time here, please know that there are transcripts of these shows. Not always in real time, but I do my best. And if you go back in the logs, you can find transcripts for pretty much any episode that you'd like. The show is recorded and edited by me, but it is produced by the patron supporters of the show. That is one of the best if not the best way that you can support the show. If you get anything at all out of these episodes, if you think on them, or if you you know you're out and about and you tell your friends about it or hey, Mom, Dad, brother, sister, friend, boss, Pastor, here's what I heard, what are your thoughts on that? If this is helping you in any way, and it is helping me, consider supporting the show in that manner. It is extremely inexpensive, but collectively, it is so very much helpful.

I am thankful that our world has voices like Julie's in it and countless others. They're a beacon of hope and light. For you, I pray that you are blessed. And you know that you're cherished and beloved. We'll talk soon.